Imagine landing the job of your dreams. And this job is so sweet that your boss tells you to take five months to get ready for it. So the first day finally arrives and you show up and your boss asks you, “So what thoughts do you have on the Anderson account,” and you’re like “Why don’t you tell me what thoughts you have on the Anderson account.” To which he replies, “You’re fired.” That’s how the real world works.

Then there’s Katie Couric’s world. Katie Couric has asked America to help her come up with a nightly signature “sign off,”
like Ron Burgundy had in Anchorman when he would seductively look at the camera and say, “stay classy, San Diego.” Katie, you had five months to come up with a sign off. Just because you didn’t do your homework, now I have to cover your back? The nuns at my school would never have put up with that kind of lazy work ethic, but I’m going to help you out this one time, Katie. So here’s my suggested sign off that took me all of five seconds to come up with:

“I’m Katie Couric. Suck it, America!”