Walking into the office together, Christian and Sean see Liz and co. chuckling over a YouTube video of Christian and some unknown woman having sex. Inappropriate for the office? Uh-huh. Funny? Undoubtedly. Rather than being upset that his coworkers -- and a good chunk of the Web world -- have seen him in flagrante, gritting his teeth in a surgeon's cap and stethoscope no less, he bemoans the two ounces of fat on his belly and rear. I keep getting flashbacks of that beer commercial where the men ask if their thighs look fat. Hilarious.

Christian asks Sean to give him lipo, and Sean suggests he diet. The disbelieving look on Christian's face is priceless as he reminds Sean, "We're in the quick fix biz." Still, he hits the gym instead of the table.

While there, he sees a positively ripped Mario Lopez (who apparently gets around these days), doing pull-ups. The camera pans over him as if he were Bo Derek -- and with good reason. Lopez plays Dr. Mike, a body-obsessed plastic surgeon. "Body-obsessed," I get (hello, eight-pack!), but A.C. Slater, a surgeon? Somehow I just don't see it. Later, though, when the docs are in the showers together, he checks out Christian's butt like a pro. Maybe he's playing the wrong types of characters?

While Christian battles his bulge -- and chats up Dr. Muscles, uh, Mike -- Sean battles his own demons. He and Julia, now looking ready to pop, interview a cute and impossibly perky Midwestern girl named Monica Watson to be Connor's night nanny -- or shall I say nightwalker nanny? While driving the Akron native -- who's less country bumpkin than she seems -- home in the rain, the temptation proves too much for Sean, who simultaneously channels Jude Law and K-Fed (who knew it was even possible?), indulging in a little Nannygate scandal of his own while his very-pregnant wife sits home waiting for him. Bad, bad Sean!

After their tryst, Monica pulls an insecure freak-out, referring to herself in the third person. A sure sign of psychosis if ever I heard one. Sean, out of the goodness of his heart -- or fear of blackmail -- offers to give her free rhinoplasty. Score: one for the nanny, zero for the spineless husband.

Christian walks in on the surgery and puts one and zero together. She has a deviated septum, Sean bleats. Uh-huh. Sure, Sean.

And speaking of being caught in the act, Liz confronts Michelle about the "fondling" scene in the parking lot. And Michelle threatens to fire her. (Can't wait to see where that thread goes!) Sean encourages a shaky peace, and a catfight is averted…

…But we get a boy-on-boy moment to make up for it! Christian goes to Dr. Mike for fanny lipo, and while he's naked on a tabletop being pumped (har har), he misses the call that Julia's in labor, losing the Friend of the Year award by a butt cheek.

Never fear -- thanks to the magic of TV, the baby is produced in three seconds flat, which leaves everyone to go about their merry, messed-up way till next week… And from the preview scenes, it looks like Monica's not out of the picture yet. Yay! As much as I like Sean normally, I can't wait to see him sweat.