Rosie O'Donnell is perfectly cast as Dawn Budge, a pushy and so-gauche lottery winner from Pensacola, Florida, who arrives at McNamara/Troy with her daughter and second husband in tow and demands plastic surgery for all three of them, whether her semi-willing companions want it or not. To encourage the docs to do the work, she offers triple pay, which Christian accepts in a heartbeat. "Money changes everything," Dawn says. And it does -- just not in the way she anticipates.

The extra cash comes at just the right time, because James of the creepy British accent starts blackmailing Christian with photos of him and Michelle kissing. Meanwhile, Sean attempts to make up for his indiscretion with Monica by buying Julia a ring that could blind, with the intent to re-propose and declare his dedication to their family. (Oh, the irony.)

The romantic moment he chooses to pop the question: right after she confronts him about $500 of phone calls to 1-900-YOUCOME and asks if he's having an affair. Only a guy could think phone sex and a marriage proposal belong in the same conversation. Still, she accepts.

In another brilliant display of clouded judgment, not to mention fiscal irresponsibility, Sean and Christian decide to buy Matt a Porsche to lure him back from the clutches of Scientology -- and Kimber. Unfortunately, the plan backfires when Kimber calls it like she sees it -- i.e., an attempt to buy Matt's affection and allegiance -- and Matt not only gives the car back, but with Kimber's help, moves out of the house and into a Scientology compound. A pained Julia asks Kimber how much more damage she needs to do to the men in the family in order to heal herself. Kimber, on seeing Julia's ring flash, retorts that it looks like Sean already bought her love. Ouch! (I have to say, while Kimber's newfound self-righteousness is grating, she rocks as the voice of reason.)

Short on moolah to make his payments to James, Christian, almost as much of a predator as his blackmailer, locks on Dawn as his cash cow, pimping himself first as her take-out-the-white-trash makeover guru, then as her crass-to-class interior decorator. But when they do a tour of the house, they walk in on her husband and daughter testing out their new "enhancements" -- on each other. Eww. So much for money being a ticket to class.

Later, Dawn, still visibly upset, turns up at Christian's apartment, telling him she feels worthless and asking for a "revenge screw." Having already sold himself in other ways, he doesn't have far to fall. He barely blinks before asking for $400K, the remainder of his blackmail payment (and Michelle's debt to James). When the deed's done, Dawn is surprised to feel even worse and bemoans her daughter and husband's deception, saying she gave them everything they ever wanted. Christian points out that she actually gave them everything she wanted, apparently not seeing how perfectly that statement applies to his own life. Funny how perspective is always best from afar.

To illustrate, Sean and Christian throw a little more money toward the Matt problem (because that worked so well the first time) by hiring a "deprogrammer" to extricate Matt from the more and more sensible-seeming Scientology circle. Matters are only made worse when the deprogrammer's team jumps out of a black van and tries to abduct Matt off the street by force, scaring the bejesus out of him -- and making him run for the safety of the compound. "Cult" of Scientology, 1; Cult of Money, 0.

When she finds out about the deprogrammer, Julia is so royally pissed off that she gives Sean back his ring. Later, though, she re-proposes to him, telling him she should have acknowledged his attempts (however lame) to bring Matt back to them. The two renew their vows in the backyard with just Conor, Annie and Christian in attendance.

James, meanwhile, sneaks up on a frightened Michelle and tells her she needs "her skills," despite the fact that Christian's paid off her debt. Hmm… As expected, Michelle starts hitting on a man at a hotel bar and brings him up to a room. Then, in the biggest I-can't-believe-I-didn't-see-it-coming development of the season, she and James cut him open. No wonder James paid for Michelle's medical training -- she runs the kidney-harvesting ring!

Did you expect that twist? Are you reeling from it? Do you appreciate Nip/Tuck's attempt to de-Cruise-ify Scientology? What do you think will happen next? Talk about it here.