THE HIGHLIGHTS

• Howie Mandel picked the wrong week to host. The Deal or No Deal host isn’t much for germs, and he’s surrounded by sweaty, clammy, feverish actors who spit on each other when they’re bored. Whereas I saw an opportunity for a snappy mysophobia one-liner at Howie’s expense, Sorkin instead went for the jugular with a monologue spoof on the show that’s beaten the real-life Studio 60 in the ratings since the season began. Kudos.
• Christine Lahti returns to tell “made ya look!” jokes. But aside from telling Danny that his fly’s down when it’s really not, she actually adds a little somethin’ somethin’ to the show. Maybe it’s her ability to completely ignore half of what comes out of Matt and Danny’s mouths.
• SNL should take a cue from the Bachelor: Rome spoof. It was the perfect mix of reality show romance and MTV’s True Life: I Have a Jersey Shore Time Share.
• The queen of comedy can’t tell a joke. Harriet gets inducted into the Falstaff Society, which we are expected to already know about and seek membership of. The comedic star of the show needs to tell a joke when she accepts the honor, but she can’t tell a joke to save her life (natch). She spends the rest of the episode trying to tell something about a Jewish son calling his mother who starved herself for 38 days because she didn’t want her mouth to be full when he decided to call. Or something. (I might not have nailed to punch line, but then again, my career isn’t based solely on the capability of being funny!)
• Jordan loves a good chat. After a meeting with a bunch of 12-year-olds (seriously -- wasn’t that one of the Olsen twins taking notes in her office?), she agreed to make amends with the Board and talk to the press. And, clearly, by “make amends,” she meant slap on enough sarcasm to put one Chandler Bing out of commission and refer to a Time magazine reporter as a hairdresser. (Check out how Jordan should have been answering such hard-hitting zingers.)
• Thank God for a mitzvah. Matt, worried about his two “writers,” called upon a Kids in the Hall alum -- who happens to be playing a seriously forlorn comedy writer whose utter lack of humor was quite humorous -- to help bring life to the writer’s room. Who would’ve thought: It worked. The trio made for some great scenes as they toiled away on a sketch about a relatively daft criminal. Too bad a murder/suicide took place that very same night and nixed the skit from the final show. Oh, show business. How do they do it?
• At long last, we discover why Matt kept up the random “You’re pregnant!” jokes with Danny even though no one was laughing. In a poignant final scene, Jordan falls into the arms of Danny. They look into each other’s eyes until they each are brave enough to utter the words they’ve been bottling up inside: “I’m/You’re pregnant.” I shed a tear just thinking about it.

NEXT WEEK: “The Christmas Show.” With a holiday episode on the horizon, Matt is determined to bring the Christmas spirit (Really? Not the more politically correct “holiday spirit” or “Chrismahanukkahwanzaa spirit?”) to the studio.

The real kicker: Danny will confront his true feelings for Jordan! Finally! Someone on this show will get some action! Oh, and the promo used the term “soul mates.” Nuff said.