It’s not a pirate’s life for us! It was a sad day when CBS officially pulled the plug on TV’s hottest show, Pirate Master.

The show followed 16 “modern-day pirates” for about a month while they lived on a massive ship, searching for gold coins, which were clues leading to the hidden treasure worth $1 million. The entire premise of the show was based on the fictional legend of Captain Henry Steel, a badass pirate that looted everybody else’s treasure. Many believe that Captain Steel’s bounty is spread throughout the island of Dominica, waiting to be discovered.

The best part is on the website under one of the contestants (Laurel), the genius who wrote the little description called her a “true modern-day pirate…[who] has been living out of her van”. Apparently homeless is synonymous for pirate. But pirates have brains too! According to the official website, Nessa “…has an extremely high IQ, speaks three languages and is very athletic”. We may be dirty but we can say “Arrrr” in three different languages! Take that!

Maybe I could start my own reality show too. I could base it on the fictional tale of how I am a princess from the Land of Far Far Away poisoned by the wicked gnomes of Evil Forest, and I need the help of 16 ridiculously good looking bachelors to break me from the awful spell. The winner can pay me $1 million and have my hand in marriage. Sounds like a sweet deal to me.