"The Rose" by Bette Midler. Spotlight on Chelsie in a white dress swaying and waving her arms in a vaguely contemporary fashion. The lights come up on Katee and Courtney, similarly attired and moving in sync. The men come out and pair off with the women. A lot of languid movement and lifts and splits as one of the cheesiest songs of all time builds to a crescendo. And yet, I didn't hate it. I didn't like it much either, but at least it never made me want to punch anything.

Cat comes out in a metallic blue shower curtain to tell us that Mandy Moore choreographed the routine. After introducing the judges, Cat tells us that after Nigel plugged the Declare Yourself website last week, online voting registration went up "four hundred percent!" Since percentages are useless without actual figures, this doesn't mean a whole lot. I choose to believe that one person registered before Nigel made his pitch, and then after he made his pitch, four people registered.

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