Um, this hoedown just blew my mind so I can't guarantee full linearality. Here's the deal, cervical cancer not included: Gave a cute tattoo girl my CW T-shirt. It was fun like it always is. Move to Austin if you're not cool enough where you live currently. Anyway, dumb drama. Lexi & Aaron and Serena & Dan goes like this: imagine if you will an unholy creature born of Aaron Rose's artistic pretention and Dan's... congenital same. Her name is Lexi. She is like if Aaron and Dan and Vanessa had a horrible baby, and she used to date Aaron, but now she's got her sights set on Dan. I've already made the coffee joke ten times so the fact that she embodies it I can't even say how nice that makes me feel. Her Humphreyness bugs Serena, of course, because Serena is still weird but is now also full of it.

Turns out Dan is ready to [do it], and Lexi is ready to bone a guy on the first date -- which they quaintly act like is a quality of character and not of, you know, 2009 -- so of course Serena "extends herself" (her words) to Aaron, so Dan won't win. On the other hand: devil you know, or Girl Version Of Dan you don't?

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