The Matrix star Laurence Fishburne is adding a new title to his resume: investigator. Ever since CSI: Crime Scene Investigation star William Petersen decided to leave the show, producers were on the hunt for someone to take his place, and they chose Fishburne.

Unlike your typical CSI investigator, Fishburne's character -- which is currently being referred to as "the Professor" -- will have some homicidal tendencies a la Dexter. Though the Professor hasn't acted on those feelings (yet), it does give him an advantage in solving crimes.

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I have the tendency to fall in love with characters on television. Such was the case with CSI's Gary Dourdan. His piercing eyes always cut straight through my soul on the CBS drama, and I gladly added him to my list of fantasy television boyfriends. Unfortunately, after his recent actions towards a TMZ photographer, I'm going to have to dump him.

In a video you can see here, Gary loses his mind when a paparazzi tries to take some video of the actor outside the Hollywood hot spot Hyde, repeatedly slamming the pap's head into the ground, while others tried to get him to stop. After he finished his beat down, Gary said, "I know all the cops around here, they're my friends." But that's not all. Gary returned later, with a big bunch of hoodlums, and allegedly chased the photographer around the streets of Hollywood, until the scared camera man was able to flag down a cab and head straight to the police station to file charges.

Gary's rep released this statement: "Gary has always been respectful of the media and the paparazzi but also values his privacy. It's our belief that this is a minor incident exaggerated by an eager paparazzo in order to create a story."

We're so over, Gary.

Courtesty of the Daily Blabber gossip blog.

What do you think K-Fed was thinking while reading this script on the set of CSI. Caption the photo below.

Attention US Tax Collectors, your eyes do not deceive you, K. Fed actually earned money this year and is gainfully employed. K-Fed will be on tonight’s episode of CSI, clearly they’re trying to woo viewers away from Grey’s Anatomy (Sorry, CSI, not going to work on me) his performance on the Teen Choice awards was all I needed to see.

K-Fed will be playing a thug who annoys the investigators as they investigate the beating of a Las Vegas tourist. Huh, a thug who annoys people… Is he playing himself? I wonder if his character’s name is Kevin Federline.

Last week a mummified body was discovered in the same downtown Los Angeles building where the show CSI:NY was filming. I didn’t mention it because it seemed more of a publicity stunt to promote the upcoming season than actual crime scene. But when a second body was discovered , this time on the set of CSI: Miami, I’m not sure what to think. Once again the message boards are alive with conspiracy theories about it being another publicity stunt, but the Miami police have confirmed that the body of an unidentified man washed up on the shore of Miami’s Biscayne Bay where the CSI: Miami crew was filming. And we all know police men would never lie.

I’ll be honest, I can’t believe either of these bodies actually existed. I made up a math equation for this very situation:

Strange things happening on the set or leaked footage of unaired scenes ending up on YouTube (I’m looking at you, Desperate Housewives) + premiere month or Sweeps = Publicity stunt. Basic math, people.