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Does it make any sense to anyone else that tonight, when there are six dances to perform, the show is an hour long, and tomorrow night, when there are only three plus the announcement, the show is two hours long? I get the whole Bachelor premiere and stuff, but just philosophically, does that bug anyone else? Then again, I hear that all of this season's contestants are actually going to dance tomorrow night. It's sort of like the stupid Dance-Off idea -- hey, you know those people that I voted off the show? I'd really love to see them all dance again. Boo.Tom explains that the couples have been dancing for ten weeks, but most of them were eliminated one-by-one, including Ty last week. And now, the three best dancers are left. Well. That's a matter of opinion. I happen to think it's true, but I think a case could be made for Lil Kim over one of the others. I'll leave it to you to decide which one. Tonight, the three remaining couples will dance side-by-side in a paso doble faceoff. Perhaps it will involve John Travolta and Nicholas Cage? That would be pretty awesome, actually. And then, Tom says that the most anticipated dance of the season is the freestyle. I tend to be pretty underwhelmed by the freestyle. I can't remember the last one I really loved, or loved more than any other dance the couple did that season. I don't think I ever have. Even the Cheryl/Drew cowboy one -- not my favorite. But whatever happens, it will be LIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
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There are only four celebrities left, and only three will make it to next week's finals. So who will stay and who will go? And how many clip packages will they pack into this week's episodes.Okay, very rarely does this show have a musical artist perform that I haven't heard of that I actually enjoy. But I'm kind of in love with the dude performing right now. His name is Raphael Saadiq and he's dressed like a '60s era James Brown with the horn-rimmed glasses and the skinny tie and slim-fitting suit. He's singing in front of a band with a full horn section, and he gets down on the floor and dances, but not in a Timberlake wannabe way. I love him. I am buying his album on iTunes. I just looked him up and he was in Tony! Toni! Toné! I feel so old that I've never even heard of him. I've officially turned into my parents. Thanks, DWTS!
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Last week, Lil Kim was voted off and I didn't realize how much I was rooting for her until she left. I guess Cinderella was right; you don't know what you got 'til it's gone. And it ain't easy to get back, takes so lo-ooo-oong. Sorry, my hair metal roots are showing. Have I told you guys about my Bon Jovi posters? Wouldn't Jon Bon Jovi be an awesome contestant on this show? I'm still holding out hope for Rick Springfield, though. Producers? Are you listening? Anyway, now it's the semifinals, and no one wants to go home. At first, I thought, "As if people DID want to go home before the semifinals!" And then I remembered Lawrence Taylor. Touche, Mr. Bergeron. Anyway, tonight they will be dancing again LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE.The show opens with a pro number to "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" by The Clash. Oh, dear. Joe Strummer is rolling over in his grave. Anyway, the dancers are Louis, Dmitri and possibly Genya Mazo? Along with Karina, Chelsie and some other blonde chick. It's short, and while I always appreciate adding dancing in as filler on a show about dancing, I don't really get what the point of that routine was. Then the semifinalists are introduced and I'm pretty sure Mark is wearing guyliner. I already miss Derek. Samantha's boobs look like they're about to pop out of her dress. I can't stop looking at them. They're mesmerizing. Tom and Samantha explain that the dancers will be performing one last Latin and ballroom dance each.
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Do you think there are people who watch this show because they love Samantha Harris? Not just the way she looks, but really love her and her personality? I just cracked myself up. Personality. Hee! Anyway, we're opening with an encore performance of Melissa and Tony's samba. I try really hard not to let my personal like or dislike of the people dancing affect my opinion of their routines, but I can't help it. I really don't like Tony. He just seems so smarmy. I'll admit that he's been better this season, but that's because he got a great partner. I would admire him more if he were fun and gracious when he had a sucky partner. You know who he kind of reminds me of? Duke from old school General Hospital. And as my best friend in seventh grade said of Duke, "Ew. He looks like he would have really bad breath." Anyway, the dance is really good but I don't know if it was worthy of a perfect score last night or tonight, but no one really asked me.Last night, Ty did well with his tango, but his rumba was not great. He was pleased, though, because he thought his solo dance toward his wife Jewel might help him to get lucky. Dude, you're married. She's a sure thing. Anyway, Kim got called a tramp and then told she was too wild in her Latin dance, but she was happy with her scores. Gilles's rumba was too sexy and out of control for the judges, but his foxtrot got high marks. Shawn gets short shrift in the recap of her performance; she doesn't even get a hallway confessional. What's up with that? Carrie Ann told Melissa and Tony that they were flawless.
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Hey, remember last week when Melissa couldn't dance at all due to her injury? And she still didn't get eliminated? Some people were really pissed about that. I'm not one of them, especially since Melissa is obviously a better dancer than Chuck (if you think this show is a dancing contest) and more popular (if you think this show is a popularity contest). So this week, each couple has to perform two dances, including a solo by the celebrity. And it's all going to happen LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!Just to throw me off, instead of opening with the introduction of the remaining couples, the show opens with a ballroom dance medley featuring Louis and Lacey, Jonathan and Anna (I think?), and Dmitry and Kym (I think?). Between the notices at the bottom of my screen about area schools closed due to possible swine flu cases and the twirling and partner changes in the dance, it was tough to tell who was dancing. Samantha reminds us that the couples will be doing two dances each tonight. The five remaining couples are introduced. I've noticed that Shawn looks totally not into it lately. Maybe she's just nervous, but her smile and sparkle seem to be gone.
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Whew! Sorry, I just had quite an adventure involving a stray pit bull nearly getting hit by a car in front of my house, my daring rescue, and then attempting to find the owners even though the dog had no ID tag. We did find them, and Lucky is now home safely, but I just wanted to use my bully pulpit to remind people to spay and neuter your pets, and put ID tags on their collars!Anyway, enough of the Bob Barker PSA, on with the show. Tom and Samantha welcome us to the show and Tom promises "the most dramatic elimination so far this season." So that must mean it's not Melissa. Or is it Melissa, and that was a nod to The Bachelor and Chris Harrison? Anyway, the encore performance tonight is the team tango. Derek is really an amazing dancer. He's really come into his own this year. He doesn't annoy me like he did with Shannon Elizabeth. I always like the encore because I think the dancers do better because the stakes are not so high and they can let go a bit. Ty really needs to learn a facial expression though -- even in the tango, I think it's okay to show some emotion in your face other than terror. I like Cheryl and Gilles's section better tonight; maybe only having to concentrate on one dance helps. And the ending section is as good as it was last night as well. Good job, everyone!
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The cold open goes right into the encore again. I don't know why I'm so attached to Len introducing the encore. You'd think I could let that go. And yet, here I am, harping on it again. Anyway, the encore is the group dance. I like it better this time, since I can tell who is which dancer. Shawn changes her solo up a little bit and does a handstand on the platform and kicks her legs around. The couple's solo moves seem less jerky tonight, probably because they're not as nervous, having done it all once before. Shawn looks like she's actually enjoying herself out there. Gilles and Derek are both way into this routine. LT... not so much. He seems to do better than he did last night, though. In that, he's actually doing the moves.Last night, LT had a wonderful waltz, even though he slipped. Ty also had a waltz, and got better marks than the previous few weeks. Lil Kim got marked lower for not being herself in her rumba. Chuck wowed the judges with his samba. The judges also liked Gilles' waltz. Shawn got her first ten for her cha cha. Melissa fought through the pain of a rib injury and got the top score of the night.
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So due to some technical difficulties, I missed parts of the show tonight, but I did get to see all of the dances and all of the judging. If I missed anything, it might be some of the transitional parts with Tom and Samantha, and while I love Tom, I don't think missing them will be a big deal. Unfortunately, I missed the cold open, so I didn't get to hear Tom tell us that tonight's show is LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!The show must be running short tonight, because we get the extended version of the theme music before the couples make their way down the stairs and onto the dance floor. Man, LT wasn't kidding when he said he was going to cover Edyta up this week when he had the chance to design her costume -- she's wearing something that would look appropriate during a Russian winter, fur collar and all. It's like Harriet Olson's funeral dress. After everyone is introduced, Tom reminds us that the celebrities got to design the costumes this week, when usually the pros do so. Samantha adds that this week will feature a group dance. The group dance won't be scored by the judges, which makes sense. How would they?
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Last night, there was a shuffling of the leaders, sort of. I mean, it stayed mostly the same, but they need to make it sound more exciting. Wow, I was just watching the credits and they showed Belinda Carlisle and I thought, "I thought Priscilla Presley was on last season?" That's not flattering. But tonight, one couple will go home, and we'll find out LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!We're starting right off with the reprise again, but we don't get to hear Len say why they chose it. This would be especially interesting because the couple who will be dancing again is Lil Kim and Derek, and Len didn't really like their routine. Anyway, it's as good as last night, except that Derek doesn't have the pompadour, which I find distracting. His hair is all over the place. I do see Len's criticism that there isn't much jive in this jive, though. Kim doesn't mess up in the middle like she did last night, but I think that the segment where Derek spins her around the floor and then she spins him around the floor was ill-conceived because it takes up too much time and sort of throws them off the beat. And it's also not very jive-like and doesn't add much to the routine. But they do the routine well, although I'd still like to hear Len's rationale for choosing this one for the reprise.
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We're halfway through the competition! And Tom is setting up Gilles to be the frontrunner, and from what I've heard about his rehearsals this week, they've got nothing to worry about. So this week, people are either dancing the jive or the rumba, and it looks like lots of people fell down during rehearsal. I think they should do an America's Funniest Home Videos homage with Tom and show people falling down or getting hit in the nuts. It couldn't be worse than some of the other wacky ideas this show has put together. Well, whatever they do show, it's all going to be done LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
Enter the dancing couples! It's funny to me how you can totally tell based on the costumes who's dancing the jive and who's dancing the rumba. Cute, short skirt, possible '50s influence = jive and flowy/sexy gown with sparkles and lace = rumba. I'm not sure how it's the halfway point of the show given that there are eight remaining contestants out of thirteen. Is my math off? I guess it's halfway chronologically if not in terms of the number of contestants eliminated, since more than one couple goes to the finals.
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Last night, the judges actually delivered some criticism and the audience booed like the judges just insulted their mothers or something. Tom delivers an interesting factoid: only one of the remaining couples has been in the bottom before tonight. That says to me that the wheat is being separated from the chaff, and the losers have been jettisoned.The episode starts right off with an encore from Lil Kim and Derek, but Len doesn't even get to introduce it, which feels weird. I think it's amazing that Kim is able to look so lyrical and flowy when she does not have the body type for it. I mean, Stacy Keibler could have beautiful lines if she were raising her hand in a classroom, but Kim is short, and as such has short arms and legs, but she still manages to really extend them and make it look good.
Anyway, after that weirdo opening, Tom and Samantha try to start the episode, but Kim and Derek are still standing on the dance floor behind them doing twirls and waving to the audience and it's all very distracting. I don't like it. Poor shot setup by the producers - they should have had Tom and Samantha standing somewhere so that you couldn't see the dance floor behind them, assuming Kim and Derek have to stay on the floor for whatever scheduling reason.
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Last week was the double elimination, and we finally got rid of Woz. Tonight, the couples will be performing either the paso doble or the Viennese waltz, and it will all be happening LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!The show must be running short tonight, because the introduction of the couples seems to take forever. Do you think Chuck is mad that Julianne just started being a country singer, like, last week, and she won an ACM award last night, but he's never won one? It just seems like it would be hard to be in a relationship where you're both in the same industry, unless you're both already established so there's less competition. Maybe I'm overthinking it.
Chuck and Julianne are up first. Last week, with the Lindy Hop, the judges thought he wasn't pushing it quite enough. This week, they are doing the Viennese waltz, and Julianne explains that they need to bring out the emotion. Chuck wants to be on the top instead of always being in the middle of the pack. As they rehearse, Chuck starts making fun of the exaggerated movements and Julianne tells him that in that moment, he actually did the best he's done. As their routine begins, Chuck seems like he's either slightly ahead or slightly behind the beat, and Julianne is trying like hell to keep him on track, so it ends up looking like they are fighting each other in hold, when it should be more smooth and polished. Chuck's arm movements are much sharper and bigger, which is good, but the whole thing feels kind of awkward, and I think it's because he's rushing the steps and she's trying to hold him back. Also, it ends with him kneeling in front of her like he's about to propose, which is kind of weird, because at first I thought he was actually going to propose, and then I realized it was part of the choreography. But she did the choreography, so she choreographed that awkward moment. The whole thing can be summed up in one word: awkward. I'm really disappointed in Julianne this season. She was formerly one of my favorites, and she just doesn't seem to have her heart in it anymore.
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Tom opens by reminding us that there is a double elimination tonight. And I'm not getting my hopes up that Woz will be one of the ones leaving, because I don't like to set myself up for failure. Last night, Gilles and Cheryl got the season's first perfect score, and it was well-deserved. So who will be going home (and going home) tonight? We'll find out LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE! I feel like Tom's signature line was a little unenthused tonight. Maybe he knows Woz is staying.Tom and Samantha open the show and Samantha can still barely talk. Yay! Tom gives the stat that eighteen points separated the top and bottom last night. As we review the performances, there is (as usual) some new interview footage. Chuck and Julianne want higher scores. LT doesn't know how to get higher scores. Dance better? I do want to apologize for my comments about DAG and Melissa's kicks last night; one of the forum posters set me straight that, in the Lindy Hop, you are not supposed to flick your foot when you kick. I don't know what Tony was doing with the toilet paper thing in rehearsal then, and I think the non-flicking looks weird, but if that's what the dance requires, then so be it. Mea culpa. Steve-O is proud that he overcame his stress, even though he recognizes that he's not a great dancer. The judges "hated" Woz again when they pointed out his horrible dancing. Holly apologizes to the audience for forgetting her whole routine. Shawn is happy that she got a standing ovation even if the judges didn't give her great scores. Ty is humble about Carrie Ann calling him a dancer. Lil Kim was thrilled to get the first ten of the season. Melissa was thrilled with her scores as well. Cheryl compliments her partner for her chemistry and he gives her a big old kiss on the side of the head. You can bet rumors will be swirling now. He's European! They kiss people! Relax.
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In the introduction, Tom points out that everyone had just five days to learn a new routine, so everyone is on an equal playing field. And we'll be watching it LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE! I think that's the first LIIIIIIIIVE of the season, isn't it? They changed the opening in previous episodes so that we didn't hear it. I missed it.As the couples are introduced, the people coming down the right hand stairway start going way too fast, so that by the time Shawn and Mark are introduced, they're already down the stairs and walking across the dance floor, and you can barely see Shawn over the audience members' heads. It was so weird that I had to rewind and my husband and I analyzed what just happened like we were John Madden with the telestrator: "No, see, right here, they're like halfway down the stairs as they're being announced and you can see Shawn and Mark behind them! So then by the time they cut back, Shawn and Mark are on the last step." This is the exciting life that we lead.
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Tom and Samantha welcome us to the first results show of the season, which will feature the first dance-off of the season. This content-laden episode kicks off with Big Bad Voodoo Daddy performing, while Derek and Julianne, Mark and Cheryl, and Tony and Lacey dance. As you'd imagine from the band, it's a swing dance. Oh, 1992. I remember you so well, with the Swingers and the Gap ads. It's also always fun to see the pros dance together without all the bumbling and stumbling that the stars bring to the proceedings. Do you think Big Bad Voodoo Daddy is ever just like, "Screw it, let's play 'State of Love and Trust' by Pearl Jam or a Britney Spears song?" I'm just saying, most of their songs are very similar and it seems like it would get boring after a while.Tom reminds us that Steve-O went to the hospital last night and he's backstage to give Samantha an update. He explains that he knows doing the flip at the last minute was a terrible idea, but there was no fracture in his back. He plans to continue in the competition if the audience and judges allow, and adds that Lacey told him not to do the flip and he did it anyway. [No one ever said that Steve-O was the brightest bulb in the box. - Angel]
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Last night, Belinda Carlisle went home from Dancing with the Stars. It makes me a little sad, because I was once a huge Go-Gos fan, so seeing Belinda leave the show was bittersweet.
The sweet part, you see, is that Steve Wozniak will continue on. I know, I know. He can't dance. But he's so cute (not in an "I'd date him" way, but in a more adorable way), and I love that his ex-girlfriend Kathy Griffin was at the show to support him. Plus, it looks like he's losing some weight from all the dancing.
On another note, Jewel told E! that she was asked to join next season's cast of Dancing with the Stars. However, the singer is thinking of starting a family, so she said she'll see what comes first.
What are your thoughts on Dancing with the Stars so far?
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The sweet part, you see, is that Steve Wozniak will continue on. I know, I know. He can't dance. But he's so cute (not in an "I'd date him" way, but in a more adorable way), and I love that his ex-girlfriend Kathy Griffin was at the show to support him. Plus, it looks like he's losing some weight from all the dancing.
On another note, Jewel told E! that she was asked to join next season's cast of Dancing with the Stars. However, the singer is thinking of starting a family, so she said she'll see what comes first.
What are your thoughts on Dancing with the Stars so far?
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Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak was recently spotted leaving a Los Angeles dance studio with his left leg in a cast.
Then, Jackass crazy man Steve-O said this to E! Online:
"A physical therapist has told me that nerves are being pinched in my back, and it is in spasms because of inflammation related to torn muscles. I'm doing everything I can to let it heal--icing it, taking Advil, drinking water, visiting a chiropractor and continuing to be worked on by the physical therapist. I'm still rehearsing every day, but walking through my salsa routine rather than practicing the physical stunts and tricks that are incorporated into it. It is going to be a risky routine that I hope to pull off."
So many injuries! But the real question is, will you care if either Steve goes home? -- Jacki Garfinkel
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Welcome back for an all-new season, which will include some replacements for some injured stars, which are maybe supposed to be a surprise. But if you have spent one second on the Internet in the past two days, you totally know who they are. Anyway, let's get our first look!
Lil Kim and Derek: Derek grew his hair out some more and I still hate it. Lil Kim has more clothes on than usual.
Belinda Carlisle and Jonathan: She looks more matronly than any Go-Go should, and I blame the costuming.
Lawrence Taylor and Edyta: I'm pretty sure he's wearing the same outfit that Emmitt Smith wore once for his season.
Steve-O and Lacey: I may be the only one who hates Lacey more than I hate Steve-O.
Gilles Marini and Cheryl: I can't believe this dude is on the show. I hope he has a personality.
Chuck Wicks and Julianne: Ooh, the couple! Conspiracy theories!
Ty Murray and Chelsie: He is a tiny little man, isn't he?
Shawn Johnson and Mark: It's weird to see her with cleavage.
Steve Wozniak and Karina: He looks terrified.
David Alan Grier and Kym: He looks the opposite of terrified.
Denise Richards and Maks: It's nice to see Maks back! Denise, meh.
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While Ms. Jewel has a fractured tibia in both legs, Nancy has a "significant" tear in her knee... and she'll have to get surgery!
Will Nancy be able to return to the show this season, or maybe even in a future season, or is she done with dancing for good?
Nancy told Access Hollywood: "After I have surgery and eight weeks of rehab, my doctor tells me my knee will be back to how it was. So that means if I have the opportunity to go back, I could!"
Though ABC has confirmed that both stars are leaving the show (though they'll be on the premiere to discuss their departures), they still have not confirmed that Holly Madison will be taking Jewel's place. While we're pretty sure Holly will be on the show, now we just want to know who will replace Nancy!
Who do you want to see take her place?
It all comes down to this. Last night, the three finalists gave their last appeal to the viewing public and tonight they wait to see which one of them will be crowned the winner. The show refers to Warren as the Superbowl Champ, Brooke as the Magnificent Model, and Lance as the Ballroom Rebel. I don't know that I fall in line with those labels, but do I care at this point? Do you? Tom wonders if there will be one last shock when the champion is crowned. Well, a shock would be if, like, Ted McGinley won. But if one of the three finalists wins, I don't think that qualifies as shocking, unless you're setting the bar really low. Anyway, tonight is the finale, and I'm sure there will be lots of filler, and it's all happening LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!Tom welcomes us to the finale. Samantha is wearing a truly ugly gold dress. It looks like... I can't even come up with a description. There's some sort of scallop on the shoulder. And she's way too tan and her hair kind of sucks. Hey, I'm going to have a few months where I won't get to make fun of her -- I've got to get it all out now. Samantha reminds us that the couples will be dancing one more time tonight, even though it's always meaningless because the judges just give everyone perfect scores. So the public's votes count for half of the final total and the judges' scores count for the other half. Samantha previews the episode, which doesn't sound like nearly enough content to take up two hours, but I know they'll stretch it somehow. Tom recaps last night's episode for us. I really liked the group samba. Watching it back, I see that it was really fun and everyone seemed to be having a good time. Moving on to the freestyles, Brooke and Derek can't believe that Len said theirs was the best freestyle of all time. Lance and Lacey giggle over Len trying to rap "It's Tricky." Did I mention that this one guy in high school used to call me Tricky? Because there was one day where I couldn't stop singing that song? And he was kind of like George Bush where he gave everyone nicknames? Anyway, Warren says that he left everything out on the floor.
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It's Lance! It's Brooke! It's Warren! It's the finale! Doesn't it seem like this season has gone on forever and ever? I mean, do you even remember Jeff Ross? And Misty's injury? Like, I remember it, but it seems like it was in a previous season or something. Anyway, tonight the remaining couples will be doing a group samba and an individual freestyle, and it will all happen LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!Tom welcomes us to the finals, and you can see some of the former contestants sitting in the audience behind him (if you have HD) -- I spotted Rocco, Maurice, and Misty. Before there is any dancing, each contestant is going to show us his or her favorite ballroom and Latin routines. Brooke and Derek go first. Their favorite ballroom routine was their quickstep, which Derek feels would garner a perfect score if they did it now. It's pretty impressive that they can pick something from so early in the season and be confident that it will hold up.
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Last night, the judges brought Brooke and Derek back down to earth when they turned in a disastrous first performance, and they elevated Lance and Lacey when they showed up with their game faces on. Tonight, we'll find out who's going on to the finals next week, and we'll find out LIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!Tonight's show will also feature the most musical talent ever packed into one show, and they're starting right off with Aretha doing "Chain of Fools." Yes, Aretha. Aretha Franklin. Hopefully you are familiar with her body of work, and you're probably also familiar with her divadom. My favorite diva move was on one of the VH1 Divas Live concerts when she just started singing over the top of Celine Dion as if to say, "Don't even try, bitch. I was singing soul classics before you even married your creepy manager as a child bride." Anyway, Aretha doesn't sound the best I've ever heard her, but WTF people, she's like a hundred years old and she's Aretha. And she still sounds better than most of the "talent" they have on this show. While she sings, Louis and Karina dance along with another couple, which is interesting because there were rumors that Aretha demanded that there be no dancers while she sang because she didn't want anything to pull focus. She's kind of awesome that way.
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Tom reminds us that Maurice went home last week, and now the stars will have to perform twice tonight if they want a shot at making it to the finals. And we'll see it all LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!Samantha's hair looks much better this week. I know you were wondering. There are four competitors left, and only three get to go to the finals. There are some questionable fashion choices tonight, but I'll save my commentary until we get to the individual dances. Julianne is back, though! Tom reminds us that we started the season nine weeks ago, and this may be the most competitive final four we've ever had. I might agree with that. Not the most competitive final two, and not the best dancers ever, but possibly the most equal in terms of talent and possibility of winning. Brooke's obviously the most talented dancer left, but when you factor in fanbase, the others have got to be nearly her equal. Samantha explains that each couple will do the two dances tonight, and Tom adds that each couple got a visit from Len Goodman to get some final dancing tips. Tom can't resist making a crack about Len's age.
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Last night, all five remaining competitors had to perform two dances each, which meant a whole lot of dancing. And tonight, one of them will be going home, and we'll find out LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!Tom and Samantha announce that Brad Paisley will be performing tonight, while Lacey will dance with her brother Benji. And I know you all know by now that I don't watch So You Think You Can Dance, and I kind of resent being forced to watch dancers from that show on this one. I can't believe that FOX doesn't have those dancers on lockdown. Also, tonight will be the dance that people on the website voted for, which should be kind of interesting. Plus, Dr. Drew!
To quote the Chenbot, "but first!" we need to review what happened last night. The judges are at a roundtable to discuss, and they agree it was one of the best two-dance nights in the history of the show. Cody started with a foxtrot. Len thought he beat expectations, and Carrie Ann admires his resilience. Brooke's tango got perfect scores from everyone but Len, who was disappointed by their footwork blunders. Maurice did a quickstep. Carrie Ann admired his vulnerability. Lance's foxtrot had a lot of personality, which won Len over. Warren's tango showed off his charisma and won over Carrie Ann.
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Last week, Susan finally went home, and now it's actually true that any of the remaining contestants could win. Don't you think? I don't think it's likely that, for example, Maurice is going to take home the trophy, but it seems possible. So who will get injured or screw up tonight? We'll find out LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!What is up with Samantha's hair? No, seriously. What is up with it? It's like, you know when you're having a bad hair day, and so you think that if you just put it all up in some sort of elaborate French braid, so that no hair is actually visible, it will look better? And then it still looks terrible so you try to slick it down with various products? And eventually you just call it a day because it's either take another shower and start over or move on with your life? It's like that. Except Samantha is on national television so maybe she should have gone with the take another shower option. Tom and Samantha introduce the couples. Cody is still with Edyta, which is not surprising. A lot of people are wearing red this week. Also, hello to Kym's boobs, which have been on the show all season, but are especially prominent this evening. I have this half-assed theory that the skimpier the lady's costume is, the crappier they expect their routine to be. Kym shows more boob to distract us from Warren's screwups. It's just a theory. I haven't actually like, Nate Silver-ed it up and run the statistics or anything.
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Two nights ago, and it seems so long ago now, there was a wild ride. But the team dances, new this season, widened the gap between the top and the bottom. So what does that mean in terms of sending someone home? We'll find out tonight LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!After the obligatory references to tallying votes (and thank God they didn't go so far to compare the importance of this show to the national election), Samantha and Tom introduce the show and go right into the recap of Monday night's episode. Warren tried to be a gentleman in his foxtrot, but the judges thought he had lost his footwork and technique. Afterwards, Warren admitted that his dance wasn't great. Susan's paso doble instilled confidence, which seems to be Susan's storyline every week. She's not so terrible! She's improving! So why do her scores still suck? Afterwards, Susan still can't say that she's a good dancer, but I think confidence is only part of her problem. Maurice did his best dance of the season, and Cheryl complimented his ability to push through his injury. Cody waltzed with Edyta, and the judges didn't think he quite hit it. Lance's rumba divided the judges, with Carrie Ann and Bruno loving it and Len hating it, or at least hating the props. Afterwards, Lance defended his "artistic expression." Brooke created a divine foxtrot, and the judges rewarded them with the season's first perfect score.
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Last week, Cloris was eliminated, and the editors get their revenge when they take the shot of Corky swinging Cloris around and make it look like he let Cloris go flying off into the audience. Hmm, maybe those reports of backstage backbiting aren't so false? This week, the stars have to do a solo dance and also a team dance, which seems like a horrible idea, but we'll see what happens. And whatever happens, it will be LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!Tom and Samantha welcome us to the show and promo the team dance again. Ooh, I kind of forgot that Cody is dancing with Edyta now. As the opening music ends, Samantha makes eye contact with one of the stars or dancers and then does this goofy shoulder shrug thing. She is a serious dork. Tom and Samantha explain that one team is going to do the cha cha and one team is going to do the paso doble, and they will be awarded a score by the judges that will be added to their individual scores.
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Tom claims that the new judge, new moves, and new leader (Lance and Lacey) turned the competition upside down. How about a new injury? Oh, that happens every week. But tonight, it will be LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!Samantha really loves to tell us how Michael Flatley is going to set the floor on fire LITERALLY. Plus Missy Elliott and the Pussycat Dolls. Samantha screws up the teleprompter but gets back on track to remind us that we have a new leader tonight.
Tom reviews that we had an "entertaining" hip hop dance. Well, entertaining. That's one word for it. Warren and Kym got good scores, especially from Michael Flatley. Warren likes that dude. Brooke had an injury and it showed, and yet Michael Flatley gave them a ten. So they love him too. Everyone loves him. Carrie Ann told Susan that she broke the box and Tom gave Tony a super cute high five over it. Maurice and Cheryl got the second lowest score of the night, and Carrie Ann told them they lacked chemistry. I totally missed the Bruno said "Sev-ENNN!" like Len. Aw. Bruno really disliked Cody and Julianne's mambo, and then Julianne left for surgery so now Edyta is taking over as Cody's partner. Cloris, whatever. I refuse to talk about that anymore. The judges were thrilled with Lance and Lacey's jive, and Lacey seemed kind of disgusted with the fact that they were rewarded for campy cheese. Shut it, Lacey.
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Last week, Tom claims that people were shocked by the elimination. If you mean that they were shocked that it wasn't Cloris, I guess you're right. And tonight! Opportunity! Because Brooke has injured her foot, and even the show is acknowledging that's the only way anyone else has a chance in hell at winning this thing. So tonight, they'll do a single routine, and then also the group hip-hop number. Did you hear that? GROUP! HIP! HOP! And it'll be LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!Tom and Samantha introduce the stars. Something's different about Maurice. He's clean shaven? Is that it? Cloris can barely walk down the stairs. Seriously, people. Let her go home and soak her hip in Epsom salts or something. This is just getting sad. Tom reminds us that Len is taking the week off, so Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance, is filling in. But what in the hell does he know about ballroom is what I want to know. Or Latin. Or hip hop. Like if this were Irish Step Dancing With The Stars, he would totally be qualified. And please no one steal that idea, because it is genius.
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Last night, the show tried out four new dances, with two couples doing each one. Half the couples got high marks, and half got a tongue-lashing from the judges. Tonight, there's going to be some crazy performance, and one more couple will go home. And it will all happen LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!Tom and Samantha welcome us to the results show and then begin the recap of what happened last night. For once, we're going to have the judges review the action, which is kind of interesting. It looks like production didn't plan ahead very well for this segment, as Carrie Ann, Len, and Bruno walk onto the cheapest set imaginable. My husband claims it's the set from a play he did in high school. Or possibly middle school. Okay, it was preschool. Anyway, it's a red velvet curtain with a card table and some chintzy chairs. They at least covered the card table with a plastic tablecloth. It looks like the world's saddest poker game.
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