As a treat for those of us who have watched all 3.5 hours of Paula’s hectic life in front of the camera, we were given flashbacks of classic moments through the season, never-before-seen clips, bloopers and a sentimental ending.

In the midst of all of that, it was as though scenes were shoved in just to fill space, or more importantly, plug some of Paula’s peeps and projects. She paid an unexpected visit to her best friend/hair stylist Daniel at his salon, and expected him to do her hair, as well as her assistant’s. Later, Daniel showed us how Paula sleeps while he does her makeup. We’re talking mascara, eye liner and all! So she’s an insomniac who snoozes while being made over. Interesting. Wonder if Mabelline has a wake-up proof mascara.

We also caught Paula on a business call while at a doctor appointment. I suppose the point was to let everyone know that her boobs are real, as opposed to what was suggested in a rag article she was discussing with her publicist … while she had blood taken! Ick!

The biggest plugs of all were for Paula’s new reality show, Shut Up And Dance, for which she auditioned dancers, and Dr. Song, the dude giving her a massage while Access Hollywood was at her house. She explained to AH’s Billy Bush that when she tripped over her dog (which made national headlines for some reason!), she didn’t break her nose, but she did tear cartilage, hurt her hip and chip a tooth. Surely, there was more exciting entertainment news to report than Paula getting a rub down and clarifying her fall. (And you thought the Paris in prison coverage was ridiculous!)

Before I even dive into this episode, I want to share a couple of things. First, I caught a promo for the Bratz movie the other day. You know, the one that Paula had worked so hard designing the clothes for, then they called and said they didn’t need her services and she flipped out. I have to say, I actually thought, “Poor Paula. She’s going to throw something at the TV when she sees this.” You know that’s going to set her off into a crying fit.

Second, while watching Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List, I again found myself thinking about Ms. Abdul and comparing the two celebs. These ladies have four things in common that instantly popped out; they both have a reality show on Bravo, they are both very wealthy, they are both loved by gay men, and they both make me laugh. However, the last similarity is for two completely different reasons. I laugh with Kathy; I laugh at Paula. Their differences are just as obvious. When Kathy cries, I get teary; when Paula weeps, it tends to be funny. Kathy treats her entourage like friends; Paula yells at hers every chance she gets. I’m just sayin’ ...

Okay, so onto the episode. Paula was excited to bring her friends to an Academy Awards swag event, but on the way there, complained about her chronic neck pain. Once in the gift lounge, she was too busy answering her cell to hang out with her gal pals. I have no idea what the point of that segment was.

Snowed in in Philly, a giddy Paula decided to play a joke on one of her peeps by placing beef jerky, which looked like poop, in their bed. Poor Jennifer screamed her head off, which made Paula nearly piss her pants. Her laughter very quickly turned to anger when she read an email from the Bratz movie people, who informed her they didn’t need her clothing designs she worked so hard on. She cried about how poorly she’s treated and lashed out at her assistants for making noise. “I’m trying to tell a God damn story,” she yelled before heading to her private room. Yikes!

The next day, they still couldn’t leave due to the weather, so instead of oh, say, sleeping, which she complains everyday about not getting enough of, Paula and her girls went shopping in a hotel tourist gift shop. Then, finally, they got clearance to go to New York for her David Letterman appearance. All she needed was Daniel, her hair stylist, but he couldn’t be there, thanks to the snow. “Who is going to do my hair and makeup here, in New York?” she panicked. She ordered her entourage to get this dude, Billy, who “consults” her, to NY from L.A. (regardless of the flight restrictions due to the weather). She broke down about needing help. She went on and on, weeping about who-knows-what. But, alas, both men made it to the Big Apple and all was right in Paula’s world. While being prepped for her Dave interview, she realized she needed to be on top of it so he didn’t make her look silly.

Guess what? Paula Abdul is tired, and time is ticking for her to arrive at yet another event. But this time, instead of whining/slurring about how exhausted she is, the animal lover is complaining that she's so hungry she could "eat a dog." Funny because she's hosting the In Defense of Dogs party, at which she was introduced as “America‘s Sweetheart.” I wonder if the assistants she yelled at in episode 1 for not packing her sweatpants would agree. Anyway, apparently she wasn't all that hungry because she turned down M&Ms from a woman in the limo, whom I can only guess is yet another assistant. In her dressing room, Paula chomped on a carrot and tried to make a joke about the small size of Simon Cowell's, uh, stick. She reunited with some old band members from when she actually toured and was known for her catchy songs instead of being the "American Idol" judge gone wild. Paula thanked Brian McKnight for being an inspiration to so many A.I. kids, which was sweet, then headed out with a bag of popcorn. Still starving, she wanted to stop at Pink's Hotdogs for a chili cheese dog, but instead, laughed about what the tabloids would say about it. "She was drunk off of chili cheese!" she joked.