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Welcome to the end of Season 4 of House. This is the first part of a two-part finale, so buckle up; it’s going to be a bumpy ride… literally.
We open up on House in a strip club. He’s about to get a lap dance from some barely dressed hottie, but instead of enjoying himself, which we know he can never do, he’s actually coming to and realizing he has no idea how he got there. He runs through a list of diagnostic criteria and diagnoses himself as having retrograde amnesia. He starts to panic and exits the strip club to see chaos in the streets. Tons of medical help vehicles and choppers overhead revealing a major bus accident.
Turns out he’s one of the victims from the accident and instead of laying nicely for help to arrive, he went into a strip club. Can this character do anything traditionally? Not a chance. That’s exactly why we love him!
Patient of the Week: Roz, a thirty-eight year old woman who six months ago converted to Hasidic Judiasm. She’s peeing blood and lost consciousness during her wedding.
The theme of this episode is about change and can anybody actually do it. Do people really change? I particularly like the episodes of this show that ask questions I don’t know the answers to. Have I ever changed? Have you? Can we as a species actually change or do we just like to think we can. When we get an email out of the blue from an ex-boyfriend and it sounds like he’s changed, has he? Well, if I’ve dated him, the answer is absolutely not. But that doesn’t mean Cut Throat Bitch or Wilson can’t change, but according to house they can’t. It really allowed for great House/Wilson scenes and exploration of their relationship, which for me is the crown jewel in this field of already shiny gems.
House meets Wilson at the elevator. He is still in shock that Wilson is dating Cut Throat Bitch, AKA Amber. House tells him it will never work, Wilson likes needy women and she’s strong and assertive. House says he gives it two months. Wilson takes that bet because it’s already been four. Wilson insists he’s broken the needy lady pattern, House doesn’t believe him and says he’ll need to talk to Amber to make sure.
House enters his office and asks the gang if they knew about Wilson and Amber. Kutner says he did because he asked her out. House cannot understand why.
Kutner: She has legs that go all the way up to Canada.
House: So do Canadians, doesn’t mean I want to date them.
Patient of the week: Cate, a shrink who is on staff at PPTH, but on assignment in the South Pole. She starts having severe pain in her abdomen, which would be fine if she weren’t isolated nine thousand miles away with limited medicines and resources. But she does have a webcam, which she uses to communicate with House and his team while they try to figure out what’s wrong. Cate is played by Mira Sorvino who is just absolutely remarkable in this role. She plays hard and sweet both so well. I want her to be on the show for good!
I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect with the big post-Superbowl episode. When I first heard about it, I was thrilled, I love this show and this coveted spot would expose it to millions of potential fans. Sure I’m not really that willing to share Hugh Laurie with new fans, but I was willing to make a sacrifice. For House. These type episodes are usually two hours long and jammed packed but due to the Writers’ Strike the House writers didn’t have time to do a blockbuster, so I really curious to see what they’d come up with, and as usual they did not let me down.
Let me start by saying this was a Hugh Laurie-heavy show, which is perfect as it’s my favorite kind of episode. The early ones this season were delightfully packed with Hugh, Cuddy and Wilson. In order to accomplish this, the newbies were sent on a wild goose chase ultimately to get cable restored in all patient’s rooms so House can watch it. This involved Cameron. This story line was pointless and annoying and other than what I told you, didn’t really amount to much other than a lame attempt at the newbies trying to beat House at his own game. Personally, I’m just glad they’re gone for the episode. The only thing that came out of it in any real way was that House taught the newbies to stick up to him and demand to be listened to if they have a point which Kutner does at the end which… well let’s start from the beginning.
Merry Christmas everyone! Oh wait, it’s almost February but in House-land it’s the week before Christmas, very fitting if completely unintentional due to the Hollywood writers strike that had postponed this episode. House comes into his office and it’s been decorated for the Christmas holidays or as House puts it: “superficial representations of a hypocritical season celebrating a mythical season.”
House immediately knows Kutner is behind the decorations, as “Homie (foreman) knows better, Hymie (Taub) doesn’t care and Huntington’s (13) would’ve done a better job.” House realizes the newbies are no longer scared of him since his ‘game’ is now over. Kutner takes the blame and wants to know if they can have a secret Santa.
House then goes into who their patient is. She’s a single mom who tested positively for the BRC-1 gene so had both her breasts removed so she wouldn’t get cancer. Also she never lies to her daughter, she’s completely honest with everything she’s ever told her. Naturally House refuses to believe this since he knows that everyone lies. 13 truly believes that the patient isn’t lying, she sees the good in everyone, I’ve seen this character before, I call her Cameron. Come on, she’s exactly the same character as Cameron! I’m so annoyed.
Cuddy finds House in the lounge watching his soaps. He tells her that the sign on the door says the lounge is closed due to a private party. Cuddy tells House he has until Friday to pick the two remaining fellows to round out his team. She threatens him that after Friday the extra two paychecks are coming out of his salary.
So House heads to the ER to find a patient to have as the final test for the four candidates. Cameron gives him some lying, druggie rockstar who is such a mess and so totally addicted to everything that any test they do on him is only going to make him worse. Foreman points this out, which annoys the candidates because that is definitely going to put in a crimp in their race to show House they deserve to win the million dollars. Oh wait, that’s a different show called Survivor… but how great would it be so see Hugh Laurie in the same jungle, sweaty outfits Jeff Probst wears. Meow!
He’s about to have surgery, to remove said grapefruit, to be performed by one scruffy yummy, Dr. Chase, when something goes wrong and he becomes the patient of another scruffy yummy M.D., Dr. Greg House.
Throughout the entire episode, a documentary crew is filming Kenny’s entire experience. This is not my favorite story telling device. When they did it on ER, I wanted to take a gun and shoot my TV which would’ve been inappropriate given that I was living in a college dorm and the TV was in a lounge and not mine to shoot.
But House decided to go forth and try and pull of the documentary style shooting and truth be told it wasn’t the annoying mess I thought it was going to be.
It did actually help you learn a little more about the falseness of the newbies and Cameron, Chase and Cuddy. Wilson was the only other staff member besides House the cameras didn’t bother. In fact he took some time to delight them with made-up stories about House and his participation in his Pagan religion.
The medical mystery: A man in his late 30s is brought in after being mugged by two kids who were not very good actors and one assumes the children of one of the producers. During the DDX, House sends off his minions to do a test to bring on a Laryngiospasm. (I had to Google that to make sure I spelled it correctly… I was so close) During the treadmill test, that I’ve always wanted to do, Cut throat Bitch is bumming that Foreman has been added to the equation, the other guy is like “how about you do your job and figure the rest out later.” The treadmill guy starts having two new symptoms: stomach pain and numbness in his leg.
Cut Throat Bitch goes to tell the rest of the group about the new symptoms and finds them betting on who is the next to be let go by House. Chase is running the action and it turns out Cut Throat Bitch is in the lead to hear the words “you’re fired.” (by House, not by Trump)
House calls the lecture hall on the speaker phone like the boss guy in Charlie’s Angels. In walks Scooter with a file and he rattles off a bunch of stuff about the patient, Irene, having seizures. While on the phone, Cameron walks in all blonde haired and hands House a mocha frappa fancy drink and flirts with him. He tells her that Foreman got fired over at Mercy. Cameron overhears House being rude to Religious nut, Cole.
Ooooh here comes Cameron/House sub plot… Cameron tells House that just because Cole is a Mormon doesn’t mean he couldn’t kick House’s ass. House thinks he’s a pushover and pulls out a Benjamin to bet that Cole cannot kick his ass, phsycially or verbally. Is it me or do they bet in like every single episode of this show? You’d think they could come up with something else to do. Cameron flirts some more, takes the bet and exits while House starts to suck down his mocha frappa fancy drink. I’m thinking very dirty thoughts about that straw his lips are wrapped around…
House tells his gang he’ll be at the classroom at 3pm, which actually means he ain’t showing up before 6pm. Instead he walks in at 4pm surprised the whole group of job applicants stuck around. House hands out a new case and wants the group to divide up into two.
One of the twin girls: How about women vs. men?
House: Excellent suggestion, fat twin.
I don't know why that made me laugh out loud.
We open up on House in front of the 40 or so candidates for his new team. They are all wearing numbers around their necks and House refers to them as their numbers, not their names. He starts firing people arbitrarily. He wants them to diagnose Buddy Epsen’s illness, apparently he was diagnosed allergic to the tin man paint during the filming of the Wizard of Oz.
Cuddy finds out about House’s way of hiring a new team. Not surprisingly she disapproves. Snore, wake me up when Cuddy does approve of something House does. The writers really need to re-arrange the tune on that old song. Look what a musical rearrangement did for “Minnie the Moocher” on itunes re-arranged by Hugh Laurie and his Band From TV… it became ridiculously popular.
Hugh Laurie is back! House is back! Me so happy! Can I please climb in that tub with him?
When we last saw Dr. House at the end of season 3, he was getting his flirt on something fierce with Dr. Lisa Cuddy and more importantly (to people who hate love) his entire team was fired or quit. Meanwhile, Dr. Wilson was just a total cutie delight as always (my love for him has grown ever since his infamous line last season: “I have a breast thing,” so readers beware, you’ve been warned.)
What I learned on House this week: A guitar can cost $12,000 and young couples in New Jersey live in really nice houses.
Patient of the Week: Meghan, who has severe injuries and has been completely disfigured after the building she works in collapsed.
Cuddy finds House jamming on his sweet electric guitar (that we later find out cost $12,000) in his office instead of working. She tells him he has a case, he says he can’t take it seeing as he has no team. She makes a deal with him that if he solves the case by himself by the end of the day Cuddy will leave him alone for a week. On what planet is this acceptable behavior? I wish I had a job that allowed me to say “hey, if I fax this today, you jerks leave me alone for a week, but still pay me of course and provide me with health and dental benefits.” But this is House-land and I love it, so Cuddy agrees.
Cuddy thinks there’s no way he can diagnose her by the end of the day and this will force House to realize he needs a team. Wilson, knowing House better, tells Cuddy this will never work and decides to take the law into his own hands. Now how did that work out for O.J.?
Jennifer Morrison and Jesse Spencer can forget about playing house together anymore. Like Andy Baldwin and Tessa Horst, the doctor drama stars have called off their engagement.
The costars told People, "After much consideration, we have decided not to get married. We are still very close, and we look forward to continuing to work together on House."
This one makes me sad. I really liked them together -- they seemed, you know, sorta normal, almost.
House costars Jennifer Morrison and Jesse Spencer are so ridiculously cute together that I kinda want to be sick. The couple, who have been engaged since Decemeber, dished to InStyle Weddings about their romance, engagement and 200-person wedding. Jesse may have engaged to Jennifer at the Eiffel tower in Paris (how very TomKat of them), but the actual nuptials are set to take on U.S. soil -- in L.A.
Any House fans fearing this twosome won't be able to work together post-marriage have no need to worry. Jennifer tells the mag that working together and having a relationship hasn't been a problem. "It's nice to have your best friend with me every day," she says. "He not only gets it, he's part of it."
Do you think Jesse and Jennifer are a good match?
Now let’s get to the recap of the finale:
Patient Of The Week: A Cuban woman, Mariana, who with her husband risk their lives to flee Cuba by a dingy to be seen by Dr. House.
In traditional season finale fashion, the show opens up with a bang, not a gunshot like last year’s but a big helicopter sea rescue. Which led me to think this was going to be a good episode. The entire opening reminded me of that terrible Ashton Kutcher movie where he was a sea rescuer and since House always references Aston Kutcher, I thought it fitting. So the Cuban refugees are rescued and after getting into the helicopter the husband insists the pilot take him to see Dr. House.
Put your hands in the air if you think Foreman is actually resigning. Put your hands in the air if you hated Cuddy’s offer to Foreman? My hand is currently in the air. What was she thinking? Everyone knows Foreman can’t handle his own department. Let’s get to the recap:
Patient of The Week: Nate, a sixteen-year-old chess playing, raged out, smart mouthed brat who has cluster headaches and joint pains.
What I liked about this episode: Nate is by far my favorite patient this season. He just comes out and says whatever he’s thinking. He asks Foreman if he’s gay and when House comes limping into his room he wonders if he’s been moved to the geriatrics ward. Remind you of anyone?
What I didn’t Like: Not nearly enough Cuddy and Wilson. I should’ve guessed that was going to happen seeing as we were inudadted with both characters the past seven or so episodes, but that made me love them and now they’ve been ripped away. I’m going through Cuddy/Wilson detox and I do not like it. Especially since the writers spent a good four episodes building up a love triangle only to never mention it again. Fingers crossed that it comes up again in the season finale, perhaps in the last two minutes to leave me hanging all summer, I love it when they do that.
Is Foreman really going to resign? Is House gonna get it on with a hottie nutritionist named Honey? Is Hugh Laurie going to fall in love with me? Let's find out...
Patient of the Week: 19-year-old female, Addy, who in the middle of karate beat down on a boy, starts coughing up blood. I know from watching this show that it’s not a good sign.
House and the gang try to figure out what caused the blood and where it came from when Cuddy comes in and summons House and Foreman to House’s office. Cuddy accepts Foreman’s resignation, but wants to know why. House answers the question “because he’s afraid to turn into me.” Cuddy says that’s a good enough reason and hands Foreman some papers to sign. Cam and Chase are all a twitter wondering what is going on. I even like Cam, but her schoolgirl gossip antics drive me crazy. Mostly because it makes it seem like a woman can never be professional without being caddy in the workplace. Ladies, is that true? Are we all just a bunch of 13-year-old girls in grown up bodies?
It’s obviously not Jennifer Morrison’s fault, she’s just written that way. I guess the male writers in Hollywood don’t think very highly of women in the workplace even in 2007.
Wow, major digression. Foreman comes clean and tells the other two he resigned. Chase wants to know why Foreman is leaving, but he won’t come clean, so Chase concludes that Foreman is ashamed of the reason. Foreman tells Chase the reason he won’t tell him because he doesn’t like Chase and never has. So if Foreman doesn't actually leave, this is going to strain their relationship, woudn't you say?
They’re having this heart to heart while the patient is in the other room getting a stress test. These are really good doctors who ignore their patients while talking personal problems. Much like that other medical drama Grey’s Anatomy. I would hate to be a patient in that hospital.
Patients of the week: Nick, a kid who has cancer and needs a bone marrow transplant or else he is gonna kick off. Patient #2 is his brother, Matty, who had been harvesting his own bone marrow to give to his brother. Wilson is all ready to do the transplant when Matty sneezes and subsequently gets sicker.
We open up on House asleep, curled up in bed. I wish he was curled up in my bed, but that fantasy belongs on a different website. House is woken up by Hector, his new dog he got last week from the second ex Mrs. Wilson. Hector has pretty much torn House’s bedroom to shreds, something I’d like to do to House… wait, we’ve already been through this. Bottom line: Hector is a nightmare and House is not a fan of his ornery behavior particularly since he chewed House’s vintner expensivo cane.
Wilson brings Matty’s case to House’s team. Matty sneezed, but his spleen is also enlarged. They need to figure out what’s wrong with him before his brother dies which Wilson says is going to happen in under five days. Cameron chimes in with her negativity saying there is no way they can solve the case that fast and suggests to Wilson that he find another donor. I’m guessing the head of the oncology department already ruled out that option, Cam, hence the reason why Wilson brought the case TO YOU!
Seriously, Cameron has been bugging me something fierce this season. It all started when she got bangs.
Hugh Laurie fans rejoice (Sarah, I'm talking to you!)! Your favorite disgruntled doctor from House has signed on to give you even more eye-candy. According to Variety, Hugh will star alongside Keanu Reeves, Forest Whitaker and Chris Evans in the silver-screen flick Night Watch. He's rumored to be playing an internal affairs officer.
Can you see Hugh as anything besides Dr. House? I'm not sure I can.
Everyone is all about giving back these days.
Not to be out done by American Idol's insane charity extravaganza, another show over on FOX is giving back. Unfortunately, they don't have Bono, but they do have Hugh Laurie whom I love just as much.
The show House has launched it's own T-shirt with "Everybody Lies" emblazoned across the front. Everybody lies being one of House's most famous catch phrases.
Sales of the shirt benefit the National Alliance on Mental Illness. They're $19.95 and are available on house charity tees.com
I'm gonna go broke this week getting one of these shirts and also contributing to American Idol gives back. I'll just cut back on the vanilla soy lattes and that should do the trick.
In a recent interview in Men’s Vogue, House executive producer, Katie Jacobs, reveals that many of Dr. House's interests stem from one's Hugh Laurie already has.
"The character initially didn't play the piano," recalls Katie Jacobs. Hugh's piano playing is so exquisite that it was written in. Likewise, House now revs to work on a motorcycle, taking after Laurie, who gets around L.A. on a Triumph Bonneville."
Sounds like it makes writing character quirks that much easier. Although I'm not sure it could apply to say James Gandolfini from the Sopranos. I wouldn't want to learn that he actually has a dark side that involves cold blooded killing.
Oh and by the way, when did Vogue start a men's edition? The things you learn cruising around the internet.
Patient of the week: A 58 year old woman, Fran, who just got back from Caracas where she snorted cocaine off of a homosexual man’s stomach amongst other things. She’s blacking out and having seizures.
Wilson is treating Fran in the clinic when she has passes out again and has a seizure. The prostitute who is with Fran, oh did I forget to mention that, yeah, she hired a female lady friend for $1000 for a deluxe sex package right before she passed out the first time at her house. Anyway the prostitute asks Wilson what’s wrong with Fran and Wilson says he doesn’t know and then asks the nurses rushing to Fran’s aid, “Where’s House?” Now it’s my guess that he knows where House is. Of course he does. House is in some Asian country with cuddy boarding a plane on their way back from a conference. House and Cuddy just don’t leave the hospital and the country without Wilson knowing. I’m sorry I’m a stickler for such things, but honestly folks, we weren’t born yesterday.
Viewer Discretion Advised = This is gonna be a good episode
Patient of the week: Ex-Marine who is exhibiting symptoms of Gulf War Syndrome, a syndrome no one believes actually exists. It just so happens that this guy appeared in one of House’s dreams. While House’s team tries to figure out what’s wrong with him, House is trying to solve the mystery of why he was dreaming of a patient he’s never seen before.
What I learned this week on House: This is becoming a weekly segment but here goes:
Wilson: Either you want a renewed relationship with your dad or a new relationship with one of the village people
House:He was in the Navy not the Marines.
Wilson: I thought your dad was in the Marines.
House: The guy in the village people.
Wilson: Actually he's only in the Navy when they sing in the Navy, the rest of the time he’s in generic fatigues.
I didn't know that about the guy in the village people! This show rules!
Patient of the Week: Patrick, a musical savant who is having seizures. Patrick is played so deftly by rock star (literally and figuratively) Dave Matthews. An awesome guest cast.
House’s gang show up at the office before sunrise for an emergency session. They’ve got a new patient, a musical savant who intrigues House. Foreman starts with a basic exam and when everything checks out, he reports back to House saying nothing is wrong.
House disagrees and tells Foreman he’s using the wrong equipment.
Let me take a moment here to say that Omar Epps's character Foreman's full name on the show is Eric Foreman. The actor playing Patrick’s dad is Kurtwood Smith who played Red Foreman father of Eric Foreman on That ‘70s Show. Another coincidence is that Kurtwood also played the father to Robert Sean Leonard (AKA Wilson) in Dead Poet’s Society. I was disappointed not to see a Wilson/Kurtwood Smith scene, what a missed opportunity. When is this show going to hire ME as a writer?
Dave is playing Patrick, a piano playing savant who aquired the ability to play the piano after an accident when he was ten years old. House needs to figure out what's wrong with him and when he does, he then has to convince Patrick's dad to authorize a surgery that would end Patrick's piano playing career. Sounds good right? Wait, there's more.
House's team has found out he has brain cancer and they are in a race against time to try and get him into a clinical trial to save his life. Phew! This is gonna be a good episode. Check back tomorrow for my review of the episode that is if I don't explode from excitement from watching it.
Fox also announced it's bringing back the David Boreanz show Bones back for a third season. I've never seen that show, but my guess it has someting to do with... Bones?
My top 5 favorite lines in this episode:
1. House to Wilson: I was curious and since I’m not a cat, that’s not dangerous.
2. House to Cuddy’s Date: You two must’ve met online. Either that or you have a friend who secretly hates you.
3. House to Cuddy: he seems a lot nicer than the one from Wicka needs a daddy figure dot com.
4. House to Cuddy: You could’ve left the scarf at home and just told him you’d be wearing a look of desperation.
5. Cameron to House: You weren’t shot because of leg pain, you were shot because you’re a jerk.
House: Some think the two are connected.
One of my favorite things about this episode was Matthew V. Lewis, the writer. I don’t know who he is but I think I love him. He gave us snarky House, great Wilson/House screen time and amazing stories for the entire House gang.
One more thing I loved: The blue shirt House wore which brought out Hugh’s baby blue eyes… oh, how I love his eyes.
And it was about time the show got a great guest star who could hold their own opposite Hugh Laurie, not an easy task I would have to imagine given his incredible talent and great eyes… oh, there I go again.
Now onto the recap...
