What do you think Masi Oka is like in real life? I see him as this quietly funny guy, who can totally let loose with friends.

Who knows if I'm correct, but since I've decided to find him a lady, I figured I should get to know the guy, right?

You see, awhile back I saw Masi on Ellen and she totally made a fake classified ad for him. Well that was back in September 2007, so I figured I should update it for all the ladies out there. It'd be a mitzvah of sorts.

First of all, the good news is that Masi told me he "could still use a classified." That means he's single! (Who's swooning?)

Now, before we get to what Masi's looking for in a woman (suspense!), here's why you should want to date him.

1. He's totally modest. He still has the same car he had before he got famous. It's his way of staying humble.

2. He cares about the environment. Masi's old car (see #1) is starting to break down, and since he needs a car that actually functions, he "might be getting a hybrid very soon."

3. He's chill. "I'm not into big, flashy kinds of stuff," Masi said.

4. He's really great at yelling "Yatta!" in a really goofy, yet cute, way (Heroes fans know what I'm talking about). Plus, Masi said that this season "they want him to be more goofy again. It's a hard balance to make him grow but still be fun." And if anyone can do that, Hiro Nakamura can.

Now that that's been established, here's all you have to do to score a date with Masi Oka. You must be "someone who's grounded and smart and has a great sense of humor."

If only I didn't have such a huge crush on Milo, I'd totally apply.

Guest star, Gabrielle Union (Renee) becomes delusional after Wilhelmina and Marc switched her meds last week. Her obsessive behaviour drives Betty up the wall with the non-stop calling and even texting regarding Daniel’s whereabouts. Renee begins to exhibit such symptoms as irrational jealous behaviour, severe mood swings, and an emotional crash, leading her to believe that Betty is in love with Daniel. Seems like Wil is one step closer to her plan- “committing” Renee to an insane asylum!

 

After Gio swept all of us off our feet last week (you know it was sweet!), Betty and Gio are now secret friends. Henry on the other hand, is not winning boyfriend of the year anytime soon. Apparently, Charlie or Pregnasty (as Amanda says), had a “panic attack” on the way to the airport as she was about to leave, and now under her doctor’s advice is staying in New York until she pops. Panic attack or deliberately trying to ruin Betty’s life?

 

The season returns with Betty’s big birthday bonanza! Betty dreams of a perfect day full of green fields, blossoms, Henry with a horse-drawn carriage and fireworks. All packed and ready to go for her perfect birthday weekend with Henry, we are greeted by Charlie (surprise!) at his door. She apparently came back for a special parenting seminar—clearly just an excuse to ruin Betty and Henry’s weekend together. Being the understanding and kind girlfriend she is, Betty brushes it off and tells Henry they can spend a romantic evening together in the city instead.

Too caught up in their own drama to reconcile, Wendy is busy getting a writer to finish a script on time so production for the movie can begin, and Nico is still caught up in her affair with Kirby. Victory puts her focus on work, and remains strictly professional with Joe. Even when Joe arranges a “business meeting” with her complete with champagne and hazelnut truffles flown in from Geneva, Vic holds her ground. Although her love life is lacking, the business seems to be picking up. Nico introduces Vic to a hockey superstar (Chris Parker) and his wife, and the two show interest in having her style them for their Bonfire shoot. The game night they hosted is followed by an after party of Victory and her new found friends.

 

On the other side of town, Nico has an after party of her own back at Kirby’s apartment. Charles is being incessantly annoying tonight, calling her off the hook. When she finally takes a breather to pick up, she races to get her clothes own and out of bed. Kirby is freaked out by her reaction from the call, when she explains, “My husband had a heart attack!”

While picking up her kids at school, Wendy hears of a prequel to Harry Potter that was never published. She mentions the prospect of getting the rights to the film to Nico and Vic briefly, but before Wendy can take credit for it, news slips out to Hector from Nico during an intense meeting. The two are set up to take the corporate jet to Scotland for a meeting with J.K. Rowling, but Wendy insists that she can’t leave the kids behind since Shane is busy with his newfound career. Seeing this as an advantage, Nico invites Kirby to go on a romantic getaway with her to Scotland. Shane encourages Wendy to go on the trip so Nico doesn’t get all the credit for getting Rowling (if she does, anyway).Umm… SURPRISE! Nico is shocked and definitely not pleased when she sees Wendy…and Wendy can definitely sense it.

Nico, Wendy and Victory are on a night out at the jazz club. The antisocial Joe Bennett joins them, as does Wendy’s husband Shane, who ends up on stage. Apparently, Shane is a really good musician! Seems like this could’ve gone somewhere before he took on the role of stay-at-home daddy…

 

 

 

The loneliness gets to Nico as she looks around and sees everyone with their husband/boyfriend So the minute she has the chance, she hops in a cab and heads over to Kirby’s place. She sets out ground rules for their purely physical relationship but ends up sleeping over at Kirby’s place (breaking rule #6).  Victory and Joe’s make out session comes to a halt when she notices her designs in a window display- but under the name of another designer, Ricardo Bragini.

In the middle of screening a new film that Wendy’s studio is producing, Nico confesses to the girls about her affair. Wendy and Victory are apparently upset and shocked by this revelation. Victory even feels like she’s been cheated on too, because Nico didn’t tell them until it got to the point of a lawsuit.

 

It seems the case is advancing but not to the favor of Nico’s side. A new witness has been added to the case. Somebody saw Kirby talking to Nico at the launch party, and saw him follow her to the ladies’ room shortly thereafter. The lawyer has prepared a statement for her to sign, claiming that he followed her into the bathroom and tried to sexually harass her. When she retaliated, he decided to file this lawsuit in revenge. As long as she signs these papers, the legal team will paint him as an unwanted sexual predator and “make him go away”. She second guesses signing the papers, fearing what this might do to Kirby’s future. When Wendy reminds her that he obviously didn’t consider her when he filed the lawsuit, she signs. Just when we think Nico is going to confess to her husband before he hears it from someone else, she holds back. They bump into one of his students at a coffee shop, a pretty girl that tells Nico how lucky she is to have Charles as her husband. A little bit odd… but maybe she’s just being friendly?

Wendy gets caught up planning the party for her upcoming film Bombay Highway. Overboard, to be exact. She gives Victory the opportunity to revive her career, when she asks her to design a dress for her leading lady Chloe Jamison at the premiere party.

“Tsunami for Bad Mommy” is the latest headline to hit the papers, complete with a photo of Wendy wiping away the tears as she walks out the door of Bainsbridge Publishing. Wendy’s daughter Maddie, is not pleased that she is going to be the centre of (negative) attention at school. The argument reverts back to Wendy not allowing her to get a cell phone because she’s not old enough. Fourteen years old and cell-less is absolutely unheard of for an insanely rich prep school kid.

 

Still struggling with her career, Victory hires a new assistant to get her life back on track. Her new assistant Roy is hard working and eager to please. Hopefully there will be another storyline there since he’s such a cutie. 

 

Our three high powered ladies are presented with work-related obstacles this week. Wendy is in high spirits since one of her movies raked in 40 mil over the weekend. But over in the office, nobody seems to be celebrating. Instead, they were all too busy reading a draft of a tell-all book which very closely follows the Wendy’s life as a (terrible) mother. Think The Nanny Diaries meets The Devil Wears Prada. The author of the book is Mariska Havel, her ex nanny who barely speaks English.

 

You’ve seen the huge ads in Times Square, heard all the hype, read the synopses and maybe even the book- the highly anticipated premiere of Lipstick Jungle finally made its debut on Thursday

 

 

We are introduced to the ladies as a news report plays on about New York’s 50 most powerful women. At the top of the list is Wendy Healy (Brooke Shields), president of Parador Pictures. Nico Reilly (Kim Raver) follows closely, as editor-in-chief of Vanity Fair equivalent, Bonfire Magazine. Barely making the cut is Victory Ford (Lindsay Price), once a high profile designer who has not enjoyed much success as of late. Victory’s reveal of her fall collection is applauded by her two best friends- but fails to impress critics in the industry. What’s a girl to do but indulge in cupcakes? Wendy (the “nicer” one) tells her to stay in, hide out for a bit. Nico (as we can already see is dubbed the “bitchier” one) tells Victory to bounce back, and definitely lashes out on people who criticize women for being successful. Clearly Nico has a lot of bitterness and pent up anger from her past experiences.

Henry is the manager of a band formed by his accountant friends called the IRS (internal rhythm service) and is stressing over the lead singer’s lack of talent. When Daniel arrives at the gig to show his support, he is hit on by guest star Gabrielle Union (Renee). The two totally hit it off and head back to Daniel’s apartment when a familiar voice comes out of nowhere “That is not the boob you think you’re touching”. Woah- beyond awkward. Turns out, Claire Meade was spending the night at Daniel’s because her own place was giving her too many bad memories.
Meanwhile, Christina is also spending time at an apartment she doesn’t belong at. She is under strict orders by Wilhelmina (“Legs up!”) and is trapped there until it can be confirmed that she is pregnant.

Still on the search for her father, Amanda and Marc come up with a creative way to get his attention. Since Gene Simmons is a musician, the best way to get his attention would be to write a song about him being Amanda’s father! Now all she needed was a band to play with her. Henry’s band, the IRS needed a new lead singer… it was a win-win situation for both.

We open this week with Betty lying down on the floor of Gio’s deli, glass shattered all around her, unconscious, and in handcuffs?! What happened? Flashback, 3 days earlier…

Wil and Marc totally play out the pity party act, asking Christina to carry the child for her because she is unable to *sniff sniff*. “Bono and Sheryl Crow should do a charity concert for her lady parts” an upset Marc comments. Of course, Christina has no idea that Wil’s egg was sperminated by a dead Bradford Meade. “In my womb?!” an appalled Christina replies to the request to which Marc responds “Well we would ask for your purse, but we don’t want a baby that grew in a Gucci knock-off” . Wil lies and says that the baby was conceived by an anonymous donor and that they will offer her a grand sum of $100 000 (which coincidentally matches up with the amount of Stuart’s medical expenses). Disgusted, Christina tells them that her uterus is closed to devil spawn. Good for you Christina!

What better way to bring back Ugly Betty but with an episode surrounding fashion week! Justin’s class comes in for a tour of Mode but the teeny boppers seem to be more interested in what Gisele is eating than the world of publishing. The tweeners skip lunch when a clan of near-anorexic models walk by and give them a severe dose of thinspiration. Disgusted by the tweeners’ obsession with weight, Betty makes a brave proposal to Daniel about using real, healthy models as a theme for their show at fashion week. Milan did it last year- and Daniel would get a ton of publicity for Mode while Betty can help change the perspectives of young girls everywhere- a win-win situation for both!

Back after a week break, we open this week with a video message Bradford left for Alexis and Daniel. While the children wait anxiously for Brad’s announcement of who gets to succeed Meade, we are interrupted by Betty who knocks the camera by accident (of course), and then again when Bradford stops and checks to make sure the camera is on. Just when the answer is about to be revealed- Bradford turns off the camera thinking he turned it on! His last words were “My d--”. Obviously, the answer was meant to be “My daughter, Alexis” or could it be “My Daniel”. Didn’t Bradford always call him that? Let the war begin…

While snacking on empanadas in the middle of the night, Bradford appears as a ghost in Betty’s fridge. Ok- so empanadas at 2am made Betty slightly delusional, because Bradford’s appearance was actually a subconscious manifestation of her guilt for leaving Mode and not taking care of Daniel as he asked of her on his deathbed.
At the funeral, Claire Meade arrives in her orange jumpsuit, handcuffs and all to mourn her late husband. Willie shows up to mourn for her almost-husband to much discontent from the Meade family, and Claire trips Wil causing her to fall into the grave. Muddy and moody, Willie returns to Mode with Marc and unveils a secret gadget MI: 3 styles on her desk. She tears apart Marc’s wallet which she gave to him for Christmas, and retrieves a secret key. A seemingly harmless disc titled Medusa X appears- something she got from a chief of the Pentagon she once dated. What does this little disc do? Why, it kills Mode of course!
Operation Medusa X begins to take full effect- all the files for the upcoming issue is deleted from every single hard drive, and the issue is supposed to ship out in 12 hours!

Christmas spirits is in the air as Betty and the fam do the annual tree decorating back home. The tradition and unusual (i.e. Papa’s kidney stone in a glass bulb) ornaments honors the tradition of Betty’s mom. When Henry calls about the emergency crisis at Mode, Betty interrupts her tree decorating to return to the side of the Meade family (for now, anyway).

We return this week with Bradford still unconscious after suffering a massive heart attack. Betty returns to Mode to collect her belongings on the weekend, only to find Lamanda (guest star Mo’nique), a security guard who shows a liking for Betty’s “sugar stick” boyfriend Henry at the front desk. Maybe it’s trauma from getting fired but Betty hallucinates a bit and sees her old self on her first day of work. The Old Betty tells Betty that she’s changed- which leads Betty to question the things she’s done during her time at Mode and where her morals are now. Who are you Betty?
At the hospital, everybody is stressed and upset, especially Amanda- “Don’t you hate it when bad things happen to good looking people?” (All the time Mandy, all the time) He may be in a coma, but Bradford is still handsome in “a Sean Connery kind of way”.

Back home, Betty opens her closet door to find fugitive Claire Meade in it, and Yoga in her bed! Claire needs a big favor from Betty- that is, to find out if Bradford changed the will for the sake of her children. She guilt trips Betty into doing it, and once again Betty puts her morals on the line. When Betty gets to Mode, Lamanda freaks out and tells her that since she is no longer an employee, she is not granted entrance into the office. What next? Henry is all up on Lamanda- who knew he was such a gangsta? He pretends Betty is not his girlfriend so that she can sneak in, while busting out the line “I’m sweet like sugar and soft like suede, but unlike a piano I never get played”!

A sleepy Betty refuses to get up from under the covers when Papa Suarez is trying to wake her up for breakfast. When he leaves the room, Hilda pops up from under there, sneaks out the window and back to her own room. Just when the coast was clear, Papa Suarez returns to Betty’s room which Hilda makes it in time for, but Betty climbs through the window as Pops was trying to wake who he thought was her up. Busted!

Pops is clearly not pleased. He gives her the speech of how silly she is to be dating a guy who got someone else preggers, and how upset he is that they were hiding it from him. He forbids her to see him (psh, forbidden love never stopped anybody! Re: Romeo and Juliet). When Ignacio tells her she is living under his roof and his rules, she tells him that he’s right, and she’s going to move out! We all know Betty has been the glue to the family since forever, and the girl just feels she deserves a little more credibility here- she should be allowed to go a little crazy this time!

The theme of this week’s Ugly Betty is self revelations! Hilda gets a new job as a hairstylist at Bumble and Bumble but for some reason doesn’t seem as excited as she should be. Meanwhile, Henry and Betty are still struggling to keep their relationship secret. She asks Christina for advice- What if you want to eat donuts even though you know they’re bad for you… but they’re just sooo good and sooo… “Henry is your donuts!” Good job Christina.
The Sandwich Man returns with phase one of his big dream- he’s now opening Gio’s Sandwiches, complete with flyers and a pickle with a smiley face.

It’s CODE FUCHSIA in Wil’s office, because her daughter Niko called and said she’s not going to the wedding, meaning Wil has no Maid of Honor. Marc’s photographer boyfriend Cliff shows up at Mode wanting to make dinner arrangements but Marc is embarrassed and sends him off. To avoid being seen with Cliff at dinner, he offers to stay late and help Wil at the office.

Daniel catches on fast that there is something going on between Henry and Betty. Being the good boss he is, he gets super protective and tells her that if she is getting her heart broken again by Henry, she’s going to have to fire him!
While she secretly tries to get tickets for the sold-out play Wicked, Daniel hears the mention of “office romance” and gets suspicious. She tells Daniel that she’s dating… (and the first guy she sees is…) the Sandwich Guy!
As a surprise, Daniel gets Betty tickets to Wicked for her and her “boyfriend”. The only problem is that Gio refuses to give her both tickets, and keeps one for himself. What a jerk! Somehow I feel like he’s maybe a little jealous of Henry…

Now that they’re officially over, Henry and Betty try to completely avoid each other to ease the pain- but it seems to be no success as work keeps them bumping into each other.

Meanwhile, badass Justin is still hanging out with the wrong crowd (see last episode recap- the pre-pubescent J.Lo) and has plans to steal the family car for a ride.

Alexis and Daniel are freaking out at Mode, after having learned that over 52% of the advertisers pulled out following Atlantic Attire. According to the numbers, if something isn’t done fast- Mode could be out of business in 90 days!! Wil suggests changing the layout, and lowering costs by using rice paper and soy ink. Anything she can do to bring Mode closer to its death!

In an effort to help Betty get over Henry, Christina suggests internet dating. Things Betty can’t live without according to her profile: donuts, family, and eyeglass cleaner…sexy!

In Betty’s new writing class, an emo kid reads his short story aloud to much applause by Betty. Her bitter new teacher, Professor Barrett is not impressed- he takes the opportunity to rename her Clappy. Betty has a new nickname for him too- “Simon Cowell with a Pulitzer”. Dead on.

Papa Suarez is back in town, and all things are back to normal at the house- until Justin shows up wearing clothes four times his size and drinking OJ straight from the carton. Gross. The straight-A kid is flunking algebra at school, and Hilda doesn’t seem to care, insisting that he can catch up. What happened to my beloved little elf? And why is Hilda egging this behavior on?

Alexis gets back to work at Mode looking like a complete drag queen, boobs all hanging out and totally awkward in heels. At least Amanda knocks a little sense in her “Friends don’t let friends wear glitter before noon!” At her first meeting back, Alexis has a brilliant idea for this month’s cover girl of Mode- she’s sexy, she’s out there… she's Anna Nicole Smith! BAM! Poor thing. The girl needs a year’s worth of back issues of US Weekly, now. She has a breakdown in the washroom with mascara and liner smeared all over her face. Actually, I think this look suits her better than the two rectangular streaks of blush earlier.

Last time on Ugly Betty, we were left hanging as to whether the oh-so-romantic kiss between Henry and Betty happens. Well, we open with Henry getting totally punked by Betty as she finds Henry drunk off a wine cooler- definitely an inappropriate time to reconcile. Betty does want to be with Henry, but not until she finds out who the baby’s daddy really is. A drunk Henry proceeds to pass out on Betty’s lap…
Henry wakes up to find himself still at the Suarez home, and drinking Hilda’s hangover punch- an interesting concoction of tomato juice, raw egg and bacon grease.

This just in- Amanda is not Bradford’s daughter! She can continue to sleep with Daniel as much as she wants now that they aren’t half related! That’s a shame, I had some high hopes for the Cruel Intentions-esque storyline.

This week, the mystery of what happened to Alexis is solved- she is suffering from “partial retrograde amnesia”. At the hospital, we see Alexis still mildly surprised by her womanly developments. Apparently, she knows nothing about her parents getting divorced, and mom going behind bars, and her escape for that matter.

Alexis demands an explanation from Daniel when she gets a hint from a news update about her mother Claire escaping jail. Bradford begins rekindling his relationship with Alex/Alexis by pretending he was okay with her sex change operation, as a way to rewrite his past with his estranged child. Upset at his lies, Daniel tries to tell the truth to Alexis with a little trouble of his own when she wonders how they got into the accident. A deer was replaced as the main culprit rather than his drug habit- smooth move Daniel.

New season, new beginnings everyone! The long awaited premiere of Ugly Betty opens with a scene from the telenovela. Betty is the maid, and mistress (of course the two seem to go hand-in-hand with one another) caught in action with cowboy Henry. Enter preggers Charlie -- drinking, smoking, and armed. She threatens to kill the two, and Henry runs back to her leaving Betty behind. Betty wakes up.

Cut to Hilda who wakes up alone, asking, “Where’d you go?” Out pops Santos from the washroom door! He’s alive!! He looks surprisingly good from surviving a gunshot wound, with a huge bandage wrapped around his torso.

Escaped cons Claire and Yoga hide out in the Hamptons and devise a plan to get Claire in to see her family. Does this scene look like it came out of Monster In Law to you? Is it just me or does Claire resemble Jane Fonda?

Coping with the stress of her unknown biological parents, Amanda finds a new creamy-centered lover that has gone straight to her butt. Her apparent weight gain has Willy calling her Betty by accident. She snaps quickly and calls for an emergency meeting with her parents.