This is it…the last hour of The Starter Wife miniseries, and there are so many questions left unanswered. Will Molly and Sam’s drastic lifestyle differences continue to keep them apart, driving her back into the arms of Lou? Will she get any money in the divorce settlement? Can Cricket and Jorge save their relationship, and will Joan really stop drinking this time? Get ready for all the final details...

First things first: Nikki and Paulo. Lost fans contested their demise perhaps even more than they contested their sudden -- and belated -- arrival on the island. Will they crawl their way out? Will they be resurrected?

Executive Producer Damon Lindelof responds to such questions with a resounding “no.” They are dead. As doornails. They will not rise from the dead. They will not further the storyline. Capiche?

Moving on…

Disclaimer: You know this show’s been on a looong time when the flashbacks start taking place on the island.

And for all those Nikki and Paulo haters out there, your time has come…

Read on for the recap.

Everyone on this island is connected, right? But how?

Conspiracy Theory #4,387: They’ve all got daddy issues.

First, there’s Jack. His dad was an alchie and -- as we learned last week -- not the most faithful of family men. Claire’s father was Jack’s father, so enough said. Kate’s dad was off in the army, so she instead got abused by her stepdad until she blew him up. Sawyer’s dad killed Sawyer’s mom before killing himself… in Sawyer’s bedroom… while Sawyer was under the bed. Sun’s pop was a mob boss who turned her husband (who was ashamed of his own father’s meager roots as a fisherman) into a criminal. Hurley’s dad only returned to the family he left behind when a couple mil were involved. Desmond’s potential father-in-law quite literally banished him to the ends of the Earth. Walt had some visible trouble with Michael’s parenting style, and Shannon and Boone were step kids in love, so that’s bound to speak to poor parenting somewhere.

Then, of course, there’s Locke. He thought he was in a bad way when he didn’t even know who his less-than-proud papa was. Little did he know the barrels of fun his biological father would bring. A con and a kidney later, he’s got a bit of resentment.

The lesson of this episode? COMM – UN - IC - A - TION.

I mean, you’d think that without the modern time-wasters such as cable, the internet and Boggle, these castaways would have enough downtime to, say, have a conversation. But, no. Instead, when Claire asks what’s really going on, Charlie stares off into space, contemplatively. When Kate and company interrogate Patchie, they actually just glare at each other with a momentary inquiry: “So, the Others, man. That’s some messed up stuff. Right? Yeah?” And don’t get me started on John “Loose Canon” Locke. Whenever he wants answers, he blows things up. And then stares off into space, contemplatively.

Good talk.

We're back with our latest Small Screen Stud of the Week. This week's installment is one very sexy end of the love triangle going down on Lost.

Name: Josh Holloway
Age: 37
Hometown: San Jose, California, but raised in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Georgia
Status: Married (blast!) to Yessica Kumala for more than two years
You've seen him: As the con man with a heart of gold and a penchant for giving adorably addictive nicknames, James “Sawyer” Ford, on Lost.
Why we love him: For starters, there’s that Southern drawl. He could be speaking pig Latin, and we’d be captivated. There’s those golden locks. There’s the biceps, the pecs, the gluts. There’s his love of fried chicken and chocolate pie. There’s that devotion to his wife, which although we’d much rather he be single, we can’t help but swoon over his one-woman adoration. There’s that glimmer of hope that we might still have a shot (“If I were single?... Damn, I'd have one girl doing my laundry, one shaving me, one bringing me a cocktail and another one coming out of my tent all hung over"). Which girl can we be?

Sweet Cheeks, Sassafrass, Doc, Dr. Quinn, El Jacko, Hero, Hoss, Pork Pie, Staypuff, Jabba, Jethro, Omar, Captain Falafel, Al Jazeera, Boss, Sticks, Metro, Mr. Miyagi, Sulu, Chewie, Bruce, Betty, Tokyo Rose, Amigo, Chucky, Han, Daddy, Pilot, Short Round, Mamacita, Shaft, Mr. Ed, Rambina, Hot Lips, Ana Lulu, Mr. Clean, Daniel Boone, Zeke.

There’s one I’m forgetting…

Ah, yes. Freckles.

This incomplete list, Lost fans, is in memoriam of Sawyer’s beloved nicknames. Say goodbye to the pointed pop-culture references, the blatant racial slurs and the mildly sexually offensive modifiers. You won’t be seeing them for a week in Lost time, which is like, uh, 13 episodes or something.

We’ll see how long this lasts. Until the writers realize that calling Kate “Kate” and Jack “Jack” is so Heroes, comment below on the nicknames I might have missed.

Oh, and read the recap of the latest episode.

What’s that? What’s that, you say? Some Lost fans are sick of only seeing Kate, Jack and Sawyer every episode? They yearn for those simpler times of Season 1? I’ve never heard such nonsense.

In case you haven’t noticed, for a show so concerned with numbers, Lost’s ratings have been taking a hit this season. “Fans” (air quotes, because any Lost fan who stops watching Lost isn’t much of a fan) complained that it wasn’t the same show -- the story lines became too convoluted and the core characters became all but nonexistent. The creators, however, claim this is all a part of the master plan, and that if the “fans” just hold out, they’ll see how it all comes together.

Which brings us to this week’s episode. A Hurley episode. A happy episode. A let's-all-ride-around-in-a-VW-van-and-not-further-the-story episode. Sigh. If that’s not an olive branch to the “fans,” I don’t know what is.

So, did Lost live up to its promise? Did they reveal answers to three of the island’s biggest mysteries?

First, there was the meaning of Jack’s mysterious tattoos. (Yet, we didn’t really find out the meaning.)

Then, there was the reason the Others baby-snatch. (Yet, we didn’t really find out the reason.)

Next, there was… well, I don’t know. Nothing else really happened. I mean, we didn’t find out about the four-toed foot statue or who’s behind this whole Dharma thing. You’ve got to be kidding me. They’ve actually got me theorizing as to what the third “mystery” mystery was. Oh. They’re good.

Ready for the final recap of Studio 60 -- you know, that Aaron Sorkin drama about the drama behind making a sketch comedy show -- before it’s thrust off the air -- yes, it’s still been on the air this whole time -- next week?

Nope, me neither…

Check out this spoof of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip I came across. It's hilarious -- even geniune fans of the Sorkin drama should appreciate it, although in some ways, it's funnier than the show it's spoofing. Your thoughts?

Just when everyone was starting to get comfortable, NBC switches things up. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is being kicked to the curb a week earlier than planned so the network can push up the premiere date for organized crime drama The Black Donnellys.

According to Variety, Donnellys, which was set to open March 5, will now commence Monday, Feb. 26 at 10 p.m. ET.

The reason? The decision came hours after Nielson confirmed that Studio 60 somehow managed to reach its lowest ratings yet with this week’s ep, NBC hasn’t yet said when it plans to bring the show back for its final run of the season’s segments, says Variety.

The strategy? To give the new show an extra week on the air with the last new episode of Heroes before that hit show goes into reruns. Again.

What do you think of this on-again/off-again relationship between Studio 60 and it’s not-so-proud papa, NBC? Do a sense a Black boycott by Sorkinites worldwide?

However you feel, you better tune in to the show next week. It might be the last Harriet-Matt-Danny-Jordan love quadrangle you’ll get for awhile.

Warning: This was a Desmond episode, and I know what you’re thinking: “Cool! We’ll get to see some flashbacks of him living a normal life before he ever got mixed up with the island, the numbers and that darn hatch.” But what you are about to read is a recap of a very unLost-like episode. The flashbacks aren’t really flashbacks. The past isn’t really the past. The future isn’t really… you get the hint. Basically, I’ve no earthly idea what the hell’s going on.

Tonight’s episode took us back in time. In fact, it took us back to a simpler, more innocent time. A time when the prostitute to the stars, Heidi Fleiss, became a free woman. A time when a large-lunged American won the Tour de France. A time when people feared that the computer would overthrow civilization and ATMs would terrorize innocent cardholders the world over. A time when Hollywood focused on actual talent, namely Jennifer Love Hewitt and that insatiable group of musicians, N*Sync. (God, do I miss seeing that asterisk.)

Seems so long ago, doesn’t it?

And yet. Lance is still kicking bike, computers are steadily taking over the world and N*Sync is bound to come out with a hot new record any day now. Not a heck of a lot happened in seven years, huh?

Side Note: Did anyone else miss the usually peppy intro music? I knew this episode was going to be a few extra doses of drama when they completely bypassed the “BA! Ba da BAH bah. Ba da BAH!” jingle.

“Not in Portland,” you say? That’s the title of Lost’s triumphant return episode? You know, the show’s executive producers have always said that the answers to the island’s mysteries are everywhere, but I would have much preferred this episode be called something like “Not in Purgatory” or “Not on Earth” or “Not in Reality” or, heck, even “Dharma is Evil” or “Ben is Really a Good Guy if You Just Give Him a Chance.”

But “Not in Portland?” Thanks, Mr. Lindelof and Mr. Cuse. You really cleared that one up for me.

In the March issue of Elle, Lost hottie Jost Holloway dishes on his fantasy women (Jessica Alba and Barbara Streisand?!?) and the pickup lines he used before marrying wife Yessica in 2004.

His favorite line?

"Did it hurt ... when you fell out of heaven?" Ugh, can you say cheezeball? Has that line ever actually worked on anybody?

He says he's also a fan of, "'Wow, that's a beautiful dress. I saw one just like it at Kmart." He continues, "See, you gotta make them think they're all that, and then pull the carpet out from under them."

Somehow that statement def makes this hearthrob less sexy to me. I'd probably slap some guy if he said that.

If Josh used that line on you, do you think it'd work?

Once again, we pick up right where we left off last episode: Three vipers are on the loose. Yes, three. There’s the snake… and Matt and Danny. Well, four if you also include Kim, the tequila-swigging viola player.

Read on for more of one wild night.

Well, in case you've forgotten what happened during the first half of the season or you're just jonesing to see your favorite castaways, check out the new Lost video podcast before a lineup of 16 all-new episodes start Feb. 7.

If someone were to claim that the dialogue of Studio 60 was, say, hyperbolist, I’d say back to them that they sure as heck have got the wrong show. I mean, really.

Those rants about politics, intolerance and hypocrisy regarding a sketch where Nic Cage is a talk show host were understated at most. That backstage flirting-slash-lynching with those romantic “I despise your religion” undertones was so typical of any budding love. And we need not forget such restrained lines as, “Don’t you SEE?! They’ll end the network!” and “Look out because I’m a-comin’ for you.”

Yet, this episode, after prefacing the impending hyperbole with the fact that he never speaks in hyperboles, Jack hyperbolized: “The fate of Western civilization rests on you talking her out of it” (referring, of course, to Tom needing to go on a date with a viola-playing 20-year-old to convince her that improvisational comedy isn’t the right move for her at this point in her life).

I swear. I never saw it coming.

Read on for more of the slightly exaggerated antics that make Studio what we’ve all come to know and love.

Sexual tension between Danny and Jordan? Check.
Sexual tension between Matt and Harriet? Check.
Sexual tension between Danny and Matt? Check.
The return of all things Studio 60? Check. Check. Check.

As if the show’s writers meant to keep things in real time, the episode begins with the cast and staff returning to the set after their holiday break and preparing for the first show of the New Year. So 24 of them.

Oh, and Danny’s in full stalker-mode with Jordan. He called her the night after he decreed he’d “come after you,” he called on Christmas Eve, he called a few times while she was on vacation, he called on New Year’s, he called while staring at a picture of the two together, he called and left voicemail messages that began, “Hello? Hellooo? I think we’ve got a bad connection…” and every time he called, he introduced himself as “Danny Tripp.” All he’s got to do next is drop trow, and he’s got her right where he wants her.

And then, just as she -- quite shockingly -- screened his call…

“BA! Ba da BAH bah. Ba da BAH!” God, I love that intro music.

Read on for the recap of Studio’s long-awaited return.

This just in, Studio lovers: TiVos around the nation have given us sweet release. They’ve added Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip in the upcoming schedule after nearly a month without. The show will return on Monday, Jan. 22 at 10 p.m. ET. According to NBC, in this ep, “the show battles the FCC and Harriet battles Matt.” Ah, I’ve missed this.

What have you missed about the show? Comment below as we count down the days...

So, the star of Bethlehem was actually a comet, there weren’t necessarily three wise men and they weren’t necessarily on camels, Jesus was born eight months off from December, and it would have taken 214,000 reindeer going faster than the speed of light to give all the children of the world their 400-odd tons of toys.

For an episode promoted as spreading holiday cheer, it sure has a funny way of showing it. Debunking Christmas aside, this week’s show kept my attention with what the true meaning of the holidays should always be about: love.

Awwww!

Okay, okay. While all 7.7 million viewers might have experienced a collective upchuck reflex at more than a few “romantic”-slash-“inspirational” moments (you know the lines I’m talking about), and while you probably don’t have a soul if you didn’t -- for at least a second or two -- contemplate making out with one of the characters (Amanda Peet pregnant = h-o-t), you have to wonder: Is there something in the water at Studio 60 that’s making everyone get all ga-ga?

One theory: Sorkin might actually be a bit worried that despite a full-season pickup, the show won’t make it to a second year. With that in mind, he wants to complete the story arc he’s had for Studio 60, which includes an on-again-off-again, will-they-or-won’t-they love saga among the title characters.

Or, he’s just giving people what the people want.

Comment below, and read on for the recap of this week’s episode.

What are the challenges of making a drama that’s about a comedy?
If you could pick one person to host the show, who would it be?
Has the real show hit many roadblocks spoofing its real network, NBC?
Are Jordan and Harriet going to be BFF or best frenemies?

The women of Studio 60 -- Amanda Peet (the tough-as-nails Jordan) and Sarah Paulson (the bible-thumpin’ comedienne Harriet) -- managed to set aside their no-doubt-20-pound scripts to answer my burning questions about the show and about their characters in our Ask the Stars video segment.

Tune in to find out how the cast manages to avoid getting tongue-tied by the 200-words-per-minute dialogue, what’s in store for the rest of the season and just who is funnier -- men or women.

But first, it’s your turn:

All of the above? None of the above??? Comment below, and read on for the recap of this week’s episode.

It’s safe to say that poking fun at Jessica Simpson isn’t too difficult. So, you’d think Studio 60, the smartest show on TV, would be above mocking the intelligence of the former Mrs. Lachey.

Which is precisely why the show’s opening bit about J.Simp seeking peace in the Midwest was so brilliant.

Just when you think they’re going to zig, they zag, and when you think they’re going to zag, well, they zag again -- all because they knew you’d think they’d zig. Ah, Sorkin. Well played, my friend.

Read on for more.

So, who else was excited to see how this saga unfolded?

Anybody?

Oh, you there. Good. I was worried that viewers would actually be disappointed with the top-secret reason behind the whole “I will NOT tell you why I was speeding! I rise above!” diatribe. Glad I was wrong.

Break out the bottles of champagne, and put on your party hats. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is sticking around. Well, at least for the rest of the season.

Forget those meager ratings and that volatile critical climate because NBC announced last night that the quasi-hit drama ain't going anywhere.

According to The New York Times, Kevin Reilly, prez of NBC Entertainment, just ordered another nine episodes, which will last until May.

Apparently, NBC is happy with the ratings. They have been dropping steadily from the 13-odd million from the first episode, but lately, the found stable footing and have kept 7.7 million viewers this past Monday.

But don't get too comfortable just yet. The Monday 10 p.m. ET time slot is a popular one, and Matthew and Brad might not be cool enough to follow time travelers and cheerleaders who feel no pain (Heroes, which is NBC's actual "hit" show, needs a better encore, NBC execs say). Stay tuned, as Reilly will announce a new primetime show schedule next week.

So, um, that was awesome.

There’s not much else to say about the Lost mid-season finale. Since the Season 3 began, nearly every episode has left much to be desired -- which has left us feeling frustrated, confused and disturbed. This time, we’re still left feeling frustrated, confused and disturbed… but, man, do we love it.

So, yeah, it was awesome. But, maybe that’s just me.

Or, a better question:

Okay, people. It’s not just me here. Even the show itself seems concerned about its probable demise as they set to make an example out of one Jordan McDeere. In a scene from tonight’s episode, Jack -- chairman of NBS -- laments that she probably won’t “make it much longer.” After all, she is fighting for a show that’s too smart for its own good. And although she’s always trying to take the high road, she’s found little support. There’s not much even the biggest of the bigwigs can do to save her from being sacked.

I mean, if Las Vegas had odds on Studio 60 lasting until the end of the first season, the entire state of Nevada would already be planning for bankruptcy.

In a blatant attempt to change the subject before I’m pummeled with West Wing DVD box sets and Mensa applications, this week’s episode is thankfully one of the best ones so far. It's the first installment in what I’m sure everyone’s hoping is a 14-part series of Tom Jeter’s run-in with the law.

Read on to find out what happens so far. But first…

The minute the Lost gossip mill started churning rumors of another character being killed off in the latest episode, I started theorizing about who it might be.

Could it be Charlie? A has-been rock star really isn’t much of a back story after all.

Maybe it’ll be one of the “new” survivors -- Nikki or Paulo -- in true you’ve-got-Arzt-on-your-shirt fashion.

Or perhaps Tom, everyone’s favorite Other, will go on up to that great big island in the sky.

But Eko? Not a chance. It’s his episode. Sure, his flashbacks were interesting but never all that mysterious. (He was nothing but trouble until he became a priest who was nothing but trouble. We got it. He’s trouble.) And, yes, he does seem to make everyone on the island a wee bit uncomfortable. (I mean, who carries a Jesus stick? Really.) But it’s HIS episode. Getting rid of him now offers roughly the same amount of suspense as having the killer in the horror movie actually be the escaped homicidal maniac.

But, alas, Mr. Eko -- nay, Father Eko -- is dead.

Read on to find out what happened after the 10-odd minutes of “Previously on Lost” clips finally gave way to the actual ep.

Yesterday, FOX news gossip Roger Friedman caused quite a stir reporting about the imminent cancellation of NBC’s Studio 60 on The Sunset Strip despite the fact NBC had picked up three more scripts of the Aaron Sorkin drama only days before. Today NBC shot back insisting in an email, which is how everyone insists, that the show has not been cancelled and in fact is returning to its Monday night time slot next week. Yet, they did buy only three eps...

I wonder if the insistent email was sent before the ratings came out for NBC’s special Monday night airing of an episode of Friday Night Lights that not only outperformed last week's Studio 60 but also was ahead of the 6.3 million that it did in its regular time period of 8 p.m. Tuesday.

I’m not sure how to deal with this news. Must Momma and Pappa NBC force us to pick a favorite child to survive this ugly, ugly intra-network ratings battle? Why can’t we all just get along and watch both shows? What do you think is going to happen? Is FOX Gossip Roger going to get it right? Are the lights going to go down on Studio 60? Comment below.