Recently in The City Category
Previously: Olivia is a straight-up biatch who does not play by the rules of The City. The A-holes were torn asunder by Mister A-hole's incessant need for the poon. Jay's rakish Australian ways, too, caused strain vis-à-vis Whitney, and a fellow Aussie did nothing to abate our huh-roine's fears. In sum, Whitney can trust no one. And on this episode of The X Files... uh... I mean The City...We open at DVF, where Whitney and Olivia are called up to Alixe's office. Joe Zee, Creative Director extraordinaire of ELLE has called her to request some looks for the mag's March cover, featuring none other than gift bow-assed, pucker-faced Jessica "Be Sweden!" Alba. Apparently Olivia is besties with Joe Zee -- probably just like she's "family friends" with Manolo Blahnik. Alixe instructs them to pick strong, complete outfits from DVF's spring runway show. She advises them that the March issue is crucial and, thus, puts Olivia in charge of the pull. Say what now? Whitney just sits there and smiles supportively, blankly. Her history of playing second banana is really going bite her in the ass, isn't it? Credits.
Continue reading this entry on Television Without Pity.
Previously: There were two A-holes -- self-explanatory. Jay suffered the consequences of befriending one and/or both of them, ultimately causing Whitney to suffer the consequences of dating Jay for a plot line. Part of said plot line involved Jay maybe being a cheater, even though he and Whitters weren't exclusive at the time. Now they are exclusive, but a group trip to Miami is set to stir up old escandalos...We open at One Model Management, where both Erin and A-holette should be working. Naturally, they are gossiping. A-holette is sad she has to actually work this weekend and, thus, can't come with the gang to Miami. She looks like death warmed over, btw. Just how I like my models! A-holette notes she'll be shooting with a guy, and it should be very sexy. Erin asks if A-hole is okay with that, and she basically admits he's a jealous bastard, despite the fact that he's a notoriously unfaithful piece of crap. Just in case you're holding your breath for these two to grow the f*ck up, A-holette naughtily admits she's okay stoking the flames of A-hole's jealousy. Erin dispenses another one of her slutty platitudes -- girlfriend could write a book, y'all -- advising, "A little flirting never killed anybody."
Continue reading this entry on Television Without Pity.
Previously: Whitney started to wise up to why everyone hates Olivia. And it wasn't all Nevan's fault, but he was certainly a large factor in the equation. Because Nevan sucks. Fact. Erin shared several smooches with an ex, much to the chagrin of her current beau. A-hole let his gf A-holette move in, and she just wouldn't leave, which is beginning to wear thin on A-hole's bromance with Jay... At Whitters' apartment, our huh-roine updates Erin on the growing friction between Jay and A-hole since A-holette moved in "temporarily"... four months ago. Erin says she can't imagine those two living together, and Whitney utters the fateful words, "I could not imagine having someone live with me. There's no way... there's no way!" Mark those, m'dears. They switch gears to a party they're attending that night. They agree that the dress code is festive, not fancy. Which means what, exactly? Like, should you show up in a skirt made entirely of disco balls and gingerbread men? That's festive. Either way, the party is at Jay and A-hole's friend's house. Get this -- his name is Smooth. Was he formerly a contestant on I Love New York? Maybe so -- his apartment is outfitted with a stripper pole.
Continue reading this entry on Television Without Pity.
Previously: Erin cheated on her long-distance lovah from Toronto with her high school boyfriend. Olivia sucks -- nearly as much as her bitchboy cousin Nevan. And the blood feud between Downtowners and Uptowners rages on...Whitney and Jay meet for lunch and discuss his band's upcoming gig. He expresses that he's nervous, because it's a big gig for them. Whitney quickly makes it about her friends' bullsh-t dramas as she gives him the update on Erin and her ex/kind-of-current JR. Jay can't resist throwing in the sucker punch, "So much for love, huh?" Now that little E has fallen off the Canuck Wagon, Jay definitely feels vindicated for taking so much heat for being staunchly -- and quickly, I might add -- against Erin professing her love to Duncan all those weeks ago.
Continue reading this entry on Television Without Pity.
Previously: Erin couldn't follow the sage advice of Tim Gunn and "Make it work!" with her out-of-town boyfriend. Whitney senselessly (or contractually) tried to befriend Olivia. Jay's sleazeball roommate cheated on his whiny girlfriend, with virtually no consequences. Now they can return to model Camelot! Delicatessen restaurant. Whitney, Erin, Sammi and A-holette have a totally Sex and the City meet-up, and Erin admires how fabulous the others' lives are. She wants to come out of the closet -- as a high-profile stylist, that is! Like the fools of Fashionista, she thinks working retail is a top-notch, launching-pad experience for said career path. A-holette thinks she would be a great fit at One Model Management, where she and A-hole have contracts. She offers to set something up with the guy in charge. It's actually a really wonderful thing to do. I almost don't hate A-holette when she's being proactive, not insanely overdramatically reactive.
Continue reading this entry on
Previously: Nevan got cut off and had to bunk down with Olivia. Welcome to the UES, bitch! Jay and his skankbag roommate went out for a boys' night and the lesser man of them obviously ended up cheating on his girlfriend... with Whitney's friend-of-a-friend, no less! Then he proceeded to give the least convincing denials since Pinocchio. His girlfriend is dumb to believe the lying sleazebag, and therefore she deserves whatever heartbreak follows. And how will it arise, you ask? Because Adam and Jay have decided to invite everyone they know -- and yes, by "everyone" I do also mean the girls he cheats with! -- to an art exhibit they're hosting. Let's get ready to rumble, then.Whitney's apartment. A-holette, still whiney, has come over to Whitney's to gripe about problems of her own making, e.g. she stays with someone who has obviously, unrepentantly cheated on her. Whitney breaks it down that their men are shady bastards, so it's best to stay on their toes. A-holette wants to have her cake and eat it, too, so she insists she believes him but continues to complain about how hard this is on her. Pick one! She switches gears, proposing it might be smart to confront the girl with whom he cheated. Whitney advises against it. I smell a bitch fight! Credits.
Continue reading this entry on Television Without Pity.
Previously: Whiney got a "job" and some "friends," even a commitment-phobic "boyfriend" with a douchebag wingman. Time for an episode about the wingman. Groan. Adam (a.k.a. A-hole) and his girlfriend Allie head into a restaurant, where Whitney and Jay are waiting for them. Jay gives Whitney the scoop before they arrive: A-hole and Allie met in a bar, now they live together. There were probably some steps in between, but I wouldn't put it past these nitwits if there weren't. The others come in, and they sit down, boys on one side, girls on the other, just like a junior high school dance. Which is basically the dynamic of this entire show. Allie, a fellow Cali girl, asks Whitney how she likes New York. Whitney isn't all that enthusiastic. Because her idea of culture is frozen yogurt. Jay has to interject to remind Whitney that he makes her life worth living. Oh yeah! And A-hole notes that he had the same pull on Allie. Jay and A-hole give themselves a pat on the back for dickmatizing two such feeble minds.
Continue reading this entry on Television Without Pity.
Previously: Whitney relied on Erin for dating advice. Bad idea. Girl is in over her head with the Canadian import boyfriend. Also, Whitney was surprised when she cozied up to a dirt bag and found herself with a mouthful of mud pie. Also? Nevan and Olivia suck. The end.Olivia and Whitney "work" on a DVF event. Olivia is in charge of the guest list and, as such, has invited many of her fellow "socials." Vom. It seems Whitney agrees with me, because she gives Olivia the awesome sideways glance, as if to say, "What a dillweed!" And then, lo and behold! Diane von Furstenberg herself flits in for a hot second. She makes scattered comments about the mannequins Whitney has dressed for display at the event, then flits out just about as quickly as she came.
Continue reading this entry on Television Without Pity.
Previously: Whitney got a fake job at Diane von Furstenberg, wherein she met The Wicked Witch of the Upper East Side, a.k.a. Olivia. Everyone can start starting to hate Olivia now -- that is, if you haven't already. Whitney fell head over heels in like with hipster rocker Jay, until trucker-hat wearing model Alex, whom Whitney once rejected in favor of Jay, threw a crimp into their courtship that was as uninteresting as it was contrived. Now, Whitney gets to see what it's like not to date a d-bag because Erin's boyfriend is coming to town...
Erin and her hipster boyfriend futz around on a guitar. The bf is down from Toronto (big up, Ontario!). They start discussing their plans to "watch a movie" that night, i.e. have as much sex as possible until he leaves. Whitney is weirded out by the subtext -- or perhaps the subtext of Erin trying to convince her already pretty gay-looking boyfriend to watch The Sound of Music -- so she takes her cue to leave them alone in the love shack. Erin pretends that Whitney is welcome to join them, but our girl is a lot savvier than her blonde locks imply. Thus begins the Ameri-nadian booty call.
Continue reading this entry on Television Without Pity.
Previously: Whitney's life revolved around Australian hipster musician Jay, whether he was rescuing her from the clutches of her snobby co-worker Olivia or distracting her from a dumb-as-rocks, trucker hat-wearing male model named Alex. But before Whitney could get too comfy with Jay, Alex called with some news... Whitney meets Alex for lunch and updates him on her move to New York. She apologizes for ditching him the night she met Jay, and he wonders what has come of that. She says things are still on, so he brings up how his roommate's best friend Danielle used to date Jay and claims Jay still holds a torch for this girl. He mentions a recent encounter they had at a club where Jay allegedly said he wasn't dating Whitney and made a move on Danielle. Whitney is dubious, but Alex says he and Danielle have no reason to lie. Whitney says ominously that she will have to choose whom to trust.
Continue reading this entry on Television Without Pity.
We've all heard of Whitney Port, the L.A. girl who got her start expediting plots on The Hills. She was "living the California dream" (a.k.a. as much Tropicana and Hot Dog on a Stick as you want!) before MTV decided to install her as living art in Diane von Furstenberg's office in an effort to have another hit reality show (because, let's face it, Bromance ain't gonna happen).So Whitney decided to "risk it all" to move to New York to work in fashion. No bail-outs here! Just Downtown Girls like her friend Erin, who loves boys, and Downtown Guys like model Adam, who makes his girlfriend cry because he's just so damn freewheelin' (or maybe she's just a codependent, whiny brat). As well, there are Uptown folk like Olivia, whom I can already tell is a hagtastic bitch, and calls socialites "socials." Seriously, I cannot stress enough that I just met this Olivia character, and I already want her to get out of my face. Finally, there are heartbreakers like Jay, who know not neighborhood boundaries and whom Whitney has decided to follow around like a puppy now that she has sold her soul to MTV. In summary, Whitney is betting it all on a new life and a new love, and she has to figure out who she can trust... in The City.
Continue reading this entry on Television Without Pity.
