Whoa! Not a happy episode last night. Right at the beginning, Barb has to find out from the newspaper that her mother is engaged to be married. Bill and Alby meet out in the country, and Bill offers to trade his seat on the board for Kathy. Alby claims he'll think about it, but it doesn't look likely. Meanwhile, Sarah reads a saucy text message to Scott from another girl on his cell phone. Scott maintains that they never said they were exclusive. He also shrugs off taking her virginity, saying it was only sex... nice. Real nice. Back at the house, Barb's neighbor Pam comes over to discuss surrogacy and casually mentions that Margie is a surrogate mother. Pam says she wants to have a baby so desperately that she'll pay Margie $50,000. Barb, already distraught over her mom, is really upset now. Nicki and Alby exchange heated words at Roman's bedside when Alby tries to order her to get Weber back by threatening that he has evidence that Bill stole the company. Nicki doesn’t seem to care. Barb demands an explanation from Margie about being a surrogate, but Margie responds defiantly, saying she's been a "baby factory" for Barb. And then the doorbell rings.

This episode sealed the deal; I'm totally convinced this season is going to be the best one yet. First and foremost, tonight we got two and half sex scenes! Ben and Brynn get it on, and Nicki and Bill get frisky outside among the freshly laundered sheets hanging out to dry at Juniper Creek. The half sex scene is when Bill goes to visit his mom, Lois, and is confronted with his Uncle Eddie's new wife and her big naked breasts. It's not really a sex scene per se, but it is full frontal nudity, and these are Mormons. Translation: it counts as half a sex scene, people!

Sadly, Bill and Nicki do not visit Juniper Creek for the sole purpose of getting randy outside Nicki's parents' house. Roman wants Bill support in a council vote. But Bill refuses unless Alby tells the police that he poisoned himself and that Joey had nothing to do with it. Roman, typical Roman, orders Alby to comply. Alby, in a not altogether surprising, but still not completely expected twist, instead decides to tell the police about Roman and Bill's cover up. He also tells them that Bill is staying at the compound.

Sauntering back to Juniper Creek from the police station, he tells Nicki not only what he has done, but also that it was Roman who exposed Barb as a polygamist. Nicki is devastated. She confronts her father, but Roman coldly rebuffs her. Roman, after all, has more important things on his mind -- like the fact that Rhonda has finally pledged herself to him. And please, allow me a moment to say that the thought of Roman taking Rhonda's virginity makes me shudder.

Bill and Nicki flee Juniper Creek, only narrowly escaping the approaching cops.

Last week’s premiere got off to a rocky and unimpressive start, and I feared that the season was doomed to revolve around a mopey Barb, a bitchy Nicki, a whiny Margene and a clueless Bill. But tonight's episode happily proved otherwise. The show opened sweetly (when does that ever happen?) with Nicki wrapping a present and smiling (and when does Nicki ever smile or give gifts?) . Quickly, however, the insanity of breakfast at the Henricksons household overshadows the present and the mystery of who might be its recipient. Barb runs off to her first day of classes at the University of Utah, and Ben, who is starting a new job in the stock room at Home Plus, drives his Dad to work.

Bill excitedly insists they drive by one of the new billboards for Henrickson’s Home Plus on a busy stretch of highway. Unfortunately, the sign, which originally read “Bill Henrickson Welcomes You to Henrickson’s Home Plus”, has been defaced. Beneath the text someone has added “+Us +Us +US” in huge graffiti. Undoubtedly, Bill envisioned sharing a moment with his son as they drove by the ad, a moment in which surely Ben would be proud of his father’s accomplishments. Instead, the graffiti is only a glaring reminder that the family secret is not safe.

Big Love came back last night, and it has been two weeks since Barb got ousted as a polygamist. She’s handling it in the expected way, by doing crossword puzzles and lots of them. I find it hard to pity her much since the only reason she got ousted, endangering the whole family in the process, is because she wanted a little parade for her parenting skills. F.Y.I., Barbie, that’s called pride, and it’s one of the seven deadly sins.

Nicki, in the face of Barb’s little breakdown, is her usual charming self, cutting Margene down to size at every opportunity. Apparently despite the fact that Margene is 21-years-old and a mother of two children with a third on the way, Nicki still considers her incapable of shopping or cooking for the family. No wonder Margene hides her insecurity about as well as Kate Moss hides her coke habit.

Bill thinks Carl and Pam, the neighbors, might be responsible for ousting Barb. He wants to go to dinner at their house with Barb to investigate, and if necessary, smooth things over. Barb refuses, possibly because there are crossword puzzles to be done, but Bill tells her she has no choice. Barb does not take well to his tone and flees to the station wagon in the driveway. After a few deep breaths and a wistful last glance at the house, Barb takes off.