Everybody gets a little bit of story tonight. Mike moves in with Katherine, who decides to throw a little housewarming party. She and Susan are pretending that they're both cool with Mike's move-in, and Katherine invites her to the party. But things go south when Katherine learns that the painting that moved in with Mike was actually painted by Susan, and features a scene from their honeymoon. When she moves the painting into the basement, Susan's feelings are hurt. And then Katherine gets to explain how insecure it makes her feel to see reminders of Susan's love for Mike. Susan then pretends to be a jealous ex-wife and takes the painting back to spare Katherine the sight of it.

Lynnette and Tom close the restaurant and sell off all the equipment. Tom's feeling depressed, and Lynnette thinks that what he needs is a job. And it just so happens that Bree's publisher is looking for a new marketing exec. Bree throws together a dinner party to introduce them, but Tom can't be asked to show any interest in the job. However, his interest is piqued when Lynnette starts pursuing the job instead. They end up embarrassing themselves in front of the publisher, and neither one gets the position. But in the end, Lynnette realizes that she really wants to get back in the ad business, and Tom gives her his blessing.

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Pull up some couch ladies; it’s time for two hours (and according to the show: two days) of blissful Wisteria hysteria. This is going to be a long one. So, last week foreshadowed some legal trouble for Lynette. Just as she’s making waffles for the less-than-deserving Kayla, Child Protective Services shows up to investigate Kayla’s abuse claim. They even have the videotape from the mall.

Susan and Mike debate about baby names and finally settle on Connor… for now.  Mike finds out that his beloved grandfather Maynard has just died, and he wants to name the baby after him. Susan is horrified, and so are all the girls when they come visit. Surely there must be a solution so this kid is able to survive the playground.

The Incident

After last week’s smooch between a sauced up Edie and Orson, Bree is ready for war. She makes this very clear when she confronts Edie in the street and slaps her in the face. Game on. Next step: sabotaging Edie’s real estate customers.

Mike’s mom Adele, aka Momma, arrives for Mother’s Day with a hefty dose of southern charm and a scrapbook of family recipes for Susan to learn how to cook. Seems Mike has done a little complaining to Momma, who later sums up Susan as a nude snoring whore. Ouch.

A New Face in the Neighborhood

Bree and Orson are dividing up their belongings (deciding who gets to keep the pewter cat figurine) and Orson is still begging for forgiveness. She tells him to turn himself in… but he’s not willing to go to jail.

Gaby and Carlos decide to take in a boarder in their spare room to help out with their financial troubles. They interview an art student named Ellie (Justine Bateman aka Mallory Keaton), and decide to offer her a lease. Little do they know, she’s a businesswoman as well. 

Susan’s sleazy ex-husband Karl and his new girlfriend (now wife) Marissa show up at Susan’s Lamaze class. Marissa is pregnant too. Karl is a jerk, going on and on about his law professor wife and saying to Susan: “Look how fat you are!” I’d have punched him.

 

The question of the night is: Who set fire to Rick’s? Tom is the obvious suspect, and since Lynette usually knows when he is lying she keeps baiting him to trip up. It doesn’t work though, and he stands firm that he didn’t do it and doesn’t need an alibi.

Dylan gets pulled over and questioned by a suspicious cop. He claims she didn’t slow for a construction zone (which she didn’t see a sign for). He wants to know where she went to school and checks her ID. After letting her off with a warning, he gets back in his car… where the newspaper is with Dylan’s picture circled.

The sign at Greenwood rehab reads: “A man is only as sick as his secrets.” If that’s the case, then Orson Hodge is one sick man. Lurking in his dark past is one very dark secret, and it has to do with Mike Delfino. His secret is that he met Mike the night that his (Orson’s) mother murdered his mistress. He began to suspect Mike might know something, so he hit Mike with car—causing him to land in that coma.  

Now Orson is on his way to visit Mike in rehab, at Mike’s request. He’s nervous that Mike may have remembered “something dangerous.” After a lot of beating around the bush, Mike just wants to apologize for putting Orson in the position to write out his prescription for pain pills so he could get his fix. He feels better, and so does Orson—at least consciously.

Carlos is worried he’s becoming a burden. No one in the neighborhood has minded helping him out… except Gaby. Then again, I’m sure no one else has had to listen to him whine about having carrot squares in his soup. He’s bored; Gaby’s bored, and lunch with the girls calls. At lunch Bree tells everyone that the Founders Ball is coming up. Katherine is an experience event planner and offers to help. Bree agrees, to everyone’s shock, and Edie finally says what they’re all thinking: These two will kill each other. Far funnier was Lynette who piped in to say she faced cancer and a tornado, but she’s running from this.

Your favorite housewives on Wisteria Lane are finally back and dishing up all their usual drama. Tonight the theme is faith and we all want to know what secret from Katherine Mayfair’s past is going to be exposed. Now that Adam is gone and her life is in pieces, Katherine begins to think back on her past mistakes. She flashes back to her first husband, Wayne Davis, and how he used to hit her again and again, until she finally hit back… and killed him? We’ll have to wait and see.

The gals arrive bearing muffins and jam to show their support. Katherine thinks they just want details, but they try to convince her they’re there to help. No luck. She sends them off with their gifts, but not before Bree gets a chance to say she was surprised it was Adam who left Katherine. Afterward, we see Katherine sitting outside, thinking about the “mistakes she’d made and the one she’d buried,” while looking down at a cross made out of stones on the ground below her. Something tells me the old husband is long gone now.